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How to beat baby blues
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After spending sleepless nights and dealing with bawling babies, many mums are hard put to find ingenious ways to overcome depression
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Photo: Mohd. Yousuf
A bundle of joy? Well, ask mama!
‘Awww, what dear little feet!’ ‘What a charming nose, just like his grand-father!’ ‘Look at those long fingers, she’s sure to be an artist!’ Really, people can come up with flattering lines when they come around to see a newborn child.
While it’s actually quite diverting, especially when you’re a completely-exhausted-from-the-whole-childbirth-thing mum, to have people gush over your baby, it’s a bit disheartening, later, to realise that not one of them had the guts to call a spade a spade… no, no, no, we’re not suggesting that people say the baby looks perfectly cross-eyed or has a face like a shrivelled, red walnut (that would be very rude, even it were true, no?) But, it would’ve helped had they lightly touched upon what you were in for; that parenting isn’t all cooing, contented babies and happy beaming parents.
Life changes
Because, beyond the obvious sleepless nights, relentless crying and the feeling of helplessness, you also come to realise that the initial, deliriously-happy new mum/dad frame of mind does not last forever; in fact, many mums can – and often do – actually have the blues! ‘You know, everybody told me only about the overwhelming happiness when you see your little bundle of joy but I don’t remember being warned about all the changes you could expect in your life. Forget make-up, I had to religiously time everything, even my loo-trips and showers, around the baby’s feed and sleep time!’ reminisces Anupama Ajay, mum of a four-year-old girl.
A quick trawl through the world-wide-web revealed that a whopping 80 per cent of new-mums suffer from the blues, albeit in varying degrees. Oh yes, it does seem like a ridiculously high number – then again, how many mums do you know haven’t gone through spells of acute stress/ weeping/ moodiness/ irritability/ can’t-cope-with-this-for-a-second-longer kind of feeling?
“When I had my first child,” says Swapna Menon, “I bounced back physically and emotionally quicker than a yo-yo. But with my second, I came down with ‘mommy fog’. I had suddenly turned from confident ‘dynamic’ mommy to over-the-edge mom!”
“The initial few months were really tough,” acknowledges Anupama. “I can’t believe how I simply let myself go, not bothering to dress in anything but my old pregnancy clothes and night-suits! And this only made me feel worse, considering I used to be, not long before that, the best-dressed person at work,” she adds.
Luckily, the majority of mums suffering from baby blues are able to successfully wade through what Swapna rightly calls the ‘mommy fog’.
A few, unfortunately, go on to have the debilitating medical condition, technically called as ‘post-partum depression’. While the latter would require help — preferably from qualified personnel, baby-blues can be thankfully, by and large, shooed away…
As every crabby, sleep-deprived mum will swear, the best mood-enhancer in the world is undoubtedly her baby’s happy, gurgling laughter. (Note: eight wet diapers a day, at least one good big-job, a nice, satisfied burp after every feed also contribute hugely to mamma’s good mood.)
But since all this, especially the bit about the sunny smiles, is about as unpredictable as the monsoon, mums try a whole host of things to put some zing back into their lives.
Dispelling the dark cloud
Anitha Sekar, working mum of a ten-month-old baby boy says that her unwind routine is by the seaside.
“I remember I did get upset for no reason at all once or twice. And whenever I felt very low, I would sit on the beach with my husband, and have a long chat,” she says.
“For me, a fitness routine at the local gym did the trick,” says Swapna. “Importantly, they had an in house crèche, which meant I got a much-needed workout, plus the additional perk of a stress free shower, post workout. Now, that’s a real luxury for new moms, especially for those like me, with two tots under the age of 2.1,” she adds.
“As for me, one fine day I decided I needed to get a grip over myself and make sure my baby and I got to see more people,” says Anupama. “I would dab on a little make-up; both of us would wear great clothes, and set out! We also went on quite a few holidays when she was young,” she recalls. “My ‘me-time’ also really helps,” says Anitha. “Watching a good movie, or listening to my favourite songs is very relaxing.”
“But, more than anything else, I think a supportive spouse is the key to recovery,” stresses Swapna.
“My husband mothers our kids as much as I do and so I can confidently hand over the burden of parenting when I really need a break and that I believe is of the utmost importance.”
APARNA KARTHIKEYAN
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