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Staying on the bus
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It is Valentine’s Day today and NEETI SARKAR does a check on whether people do all the goofy things they do for that crazy little thing called love or just as a way of keeping up with the Joneses
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Photo: R. Ragu
Getting it right Individuality goes out of the window as friends set the template for the celebrations
The Bard famously wrote “She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won.” Today, our concept of love has changed drastically. Thanks to the individuality killer, peer pressure, there is a desperate need to be just like our friends, colleagues neighbours.Today is Valentine’s Day, and time to do a check on whether people do all the goofy things they do for that crazy little thing called love or just as a way to keep up with the Joneses. “The last time I felt the need to buy a gift for a girl I liked was when I was in the tenth grade,” confesses 26-year-old Ankush, a chartered accountant. “I still remember the evening my classmates convinced me to do it because that is what they were all doing. Unfortunately, for me, the end result was awful,” he adds.
Standing firm
Interior designing student, Sushma Prasaad was branded a “stone age girlfriend” by her friends. “While they surprised their boyfriends with gifts, I barely remember even wishing my guy.”
There are others who stand firm against the peer pressure like engineering student Glen Winston who claims that peer pressure never drove him to buy a bunch of red roses or even send a mushy card. “I do what I feel like doing, what I think is best to do in a particular situation. I can’t care less about what people around me are doing,” he says with refreshing candour.
Then, of course a good number of people blame the media for “over-hyping” this day. According to Preethika Vijaykumar, a lawyer, “If people are in love, they can celebrate what they share everyday. I feel the media focuses so much on these days that it works on young people who want to fit in and be like their friends.
The city is bathed in a pink and red glow. We have a half-price sale on Valentine knick knacks at one store; we have an exhibition of handmade V-Day cards at another. “Everything is so commercialised,” says young entrepreneur Sanjay Motwani. “Walk into a gift shop and one can find youngsters in small groups looking at either a heart shaped pillow or some curios. When one is in a group, one can’t help but do what his friends are doing. It all boils down to peer pressure.”
Buying something off a shelf in a shop won’t suffice say youngsters. “It is about how much you spend that your friends are looking at these days,” says sociologist Sushil Chandranath. Nithin, owner of a gift shop in the city says: “Today’s teenagers are not satisfied with exchanging cards. IPods, mobile phones and branded watches are some of the fastest moving gift items during the season.”
Celebrated often more out compulsion and peer pressure than out of love or choice, this Valentine’s Day make sure your decisions are entirely yours and not a replica of someone else’s.
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