My grandmother was a few months away from becoming a nonagenarian when she was affected by hemiplegia - paralysis of the arm, leg and trunk on the same side of the body. To her credit, she handled it extremely well and her inner resolve translated as will to recover. She was not one to give up without a fight. A well-meaning visitor mentioned that she had led an extremely successful life and should be proud of that. My grandmother smiled and responded that success was at best a relative and subjective measure of achievement. She would rather view her life from the perspective of ‘completeness’ that seemed more absolute in her satisfaction scale. She had lived a fulfilling life and had flowed with it, experiencing the currents and braving the odds. Given a chance again, there wouldn’t be too much that she would want to do differently.
She passed away a couple of weeks later. Messages of bereavement kept pouring in as she had been a friend, philosopher and guide to people across age groups. One common theme in all those messages was about how she personified ‘dignity’. She was a grand old lady with strength of character that showed in her thoughts, words and deeds. A little reflection made it clear that it was her disposition that made her what she had been. She was naturally blessed with some attributes, some she had effortlessly nurtured and a few others, she had consciously cultivated if she found merit in them.
Having been with her for more than forty years had been a blessing; that had given an enormous opportunity to imbibe some of these qualities by observation, discussion, reflection and osmosis. The intention is not to eulogize; it is to acknowledge the fountainhead of inspiration for slicing and dicing the various facets of ’personality’ in this column over the last year. An attempt to prepare an illustrative framework yielded a rainbow of seven ‘Aces’ - Awareness, Acceptance, Appreciation, Adequacy, Action, Abundance and Aspiration.
These are not water tight dimensions and they feed into each other in myriad ways.
Awareness causes understanding that time would weave its magic and in the meantime, it is the mind that is the Rubik’s cube that needs to be handled well. It enables the perspective that blessings are mixed and people are package deals. It provides vigilance about the risks that characterize life. Awareness becomes the foundation and indicator of progress and the other ‘Aces’ invariably build on this.
Acceptance shows that the grass is greener here and now and facilitates living in the moment. This results in serenity to let go off the past. Patience becomes penance as we uncomplainingly wait for the future to unfold. This lens also liberates us with non-judgment providing the clarity that ‘what is different is not what is wrong.’
Appreciation of the worthy qualities in others’ makes life a banquet and when expressed, it guarantees two bright smiles. We proceed through the years expressing ourselves well and oiling life with courtesies. Adequacy is the sense of completeness that ensures we are trustworthy to bond with and our love is at once firm and soft. It enables unobtrusive orchestration to harmonize and provides the maturity to respond to situations rather than react to people.
Action orientation makes us nimble when we are open to change. Life becomes a combination of work that is Aladdin’s lamp and leisure pursuits that enliven. Self-confidence and assurance in our pursuits come from the angel in the detail. Abundance fills with sumptuousness and flows with gratefulness, becoming both a means and an end.
Aspiration can be drawn from solitude that provides space and from the blue sky that has multiple lessons. For the believers, conviction in a larger magnificent force transforms as inspired devotion that anchors the heart; faith becomes the shining armour to go through life with an enthused and smiling spirit.
These rainbow colours rotate on the axis of our being, forming a personality that begets charisma. It is not success, but sublime spirit that makes people legends in their lifetimes and after. ‘Knowing’ wisdom doesn’t count; ‘living’ wisdom does. Epictetus talks of true happiness as a verb - the ongoing dynamic performance of worthy deeds. Disposition then becomes both practice and prize making life a long noble smile of tranquil dignity.
On that promising note, ‘Smilingly yours’ signs off…
(“I believe…” series concludes with this article)
