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Learning to resolve conflict
CONFLICT IS the driving force behind most of our popular fiction, drama and film. This type of entertainment gets its appeal from a hero or heroine who are involved in a long drawn out conflict with the villain.
Not many would fancy a hero or a heroine who is full of fear, and who keeps fleeing from any kind of confrontation. Similarly, there is nothing but contempt for a villain who is easily defeated, without putting up much resistance at any point in the narration.
Perhaps the best films and books are the ones that have the forces of good and evil engaged in a fierce and relentless do or die battle that continues until one or the other wins a decisive victory.
Conflict that is portrayed on the screen is a safe, vicarious experience, with those who are busy being entertained knowing fully well that the problem will not affect their personal lives in any way. However, it is a different story altogether when conflict occurs in a real life situation.
Constant quarrels at home, differences of opinion at the workplace, and circumstances that require difficult decisions to be made all the time can make existence miserable.
Fortunately, there is always a brighter side to human conflict.
One can choose to see conflict as a challenge and as an opportunity for change and use various psychologically sound methods to resolve conflict and restore peace.
On February 12, Marijke Wusten, a transactional analyst from The Netherlands, will be conducting a workshop on "loving conflict", organised by Asha Counselling and Training Services, Coimbatore. Incidentally, Asha Services is the maiden project of the Centre for Holistic Integrated Learning and Development, popularly known by the acronym `CHILD'.
Marijke has more than two decades of experience as a therapist, supervisor and trainer in transactional analysis (TA) and has been on the Dutch and the European Board of TA associations and the Dutch TA Journal for many years.
Last year, when the entire globe was in the grip of conflict, uncertainty and constant fear, she coordinated the International TA conference "Violence, Let's Talk", in The Netherlands.
She works with people using the principles of transactional analysis within European, Russian and Indian cultures, and is an expert on stress and conflict management.
This workshop would examine ways to effectively resolve conflicts at work, using the `Attachment Theory of John Bowley' and the concepts of `Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis'.
"A competent conflict manager will be motivated by thinking and feeling, understand the dynamics of bonding and grieving, will know how to separate the person and the problem, is able to focus on a common goal and will stay bonded while working through the differences and feelings of the conflict," say the organisers.
Besides theory, there will be exercises, role-play, meditation and case studies at the workshop. Participants can bring their own case studies and share their own experiences for discussion and analysis.
P.K. Saru, founder and managing trustee, CHILD, says that the organisation is keen on offering counselling to those with personal, inter-personal, emotional and family problems. No client will be turned away because of financial constraints.
Asha Counselling and Training Services (Phone: 2310520) also offers on-going training programmes in transactional analysis, leading to national and international certification. There are programmes meant for those who practice transactional analysis on a professional basis and also for executives, teachers and others who are interested in developing their own personalities and learning more about interacting with other people.
Among the more popular of these programmes conducted during the past few years were the ones dealing with personality development, communication skills, effective parenting, conflict resolution, emotional literacy, self esteem and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).
Saru says that among the long term activities of the organisation are community projects to uplift women, as well as the economically and socially deprived segments of society. There are also support groups for people experiencing marital problems, parents with troubled children and people coping with terminal diseases.
By Michael Raj A.A.
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Life
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
Madurai
Thiruvananthapuram
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