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Direct your anger at problems, not people
Do you often lose your cool when things go wrong at work? If you are one of those easily angered, chronically irritable persons it is better to learn a few tips to keep this emotion under check. Anger is a completely normal emotion as long as it is within limits. We all experience it as a fleeting annoyance or mild irritation on several occasions but when it turns into a full-fledged rage it leads to problems in life.
It is important to control your anger before it starts playing havoc with your life and career. Anger can be caused by both external and internal factors. You may be angry with your boss or colleague or you may be angry at the maddening traffic. Constant brooding about the past or perceived future threats can also make you angry. Whatever be the reason if you fly off the handle too often you send wrong signals to your superiors. Today people have to work under constant pressure and embrace change at every turn. Therefore employers look for cool heads who can take stress in their stride. Your angry outbursts leave a blotch on your character and cloud your otherwise excellent capabilities.
Relaxation techniques such as meditation certainly help you tone your anger but more importantly you should do a thorough self analysis and make necessary amends to your attitude towards work and life for long lasting benefits. Here are some clues to keep your anger well with in limits:
Analyse root cause: Just as any other problem anger needs a root cause analysis too. We are usually angry with people or situations and therefore perceive them to be the root cause of our anger. The truth however is that our thought patterns are solely responsible for our anger. Anger springs from negative thoughts. If anger comes from nowhere and overwhelms you with its intensity it is time you made a thorough analysis of your thought patterns. See what emotions trigger anger in you. Is it fear, envy, low self-esteem or ego? Control these emotions and your anger automatically comes down.
Build a positive attitude: Good and bad co-exist in life. Constantly brooding over the negative aspects makes you frustrated and angry. Develop a positive outlook that helps you focus on the brighter side of every situation. It gives you the power to handle even the worst situations with poise.
Focus on your goals: Define your career goals and aspirations. Let not trivial matters perturb you. Focus relentlessly on achieving your mission. If you cannot avoid or change things or people who enrage you, learn to control your reactions. Think of alternatives and take a different route to success.
Settle differences amicably: Do not let conflicts fester. If you have any differences with your boss, your colleagues or subordinates sort them out amicably. Initiate discussion and put your best foot forward to resolve the issues at hand. Your proactive approach paves the way for a win- win situation.
Negotiate: In the face of adversity learn to negotiate with people to turn things in your favour. Venting your frustration in the form of angry outbursts will lead you nowhere. Instead use the energy constructively to negotiate and get what you want. Be assertive and not aggressive. For example if heavy workload is making you stressed out instead of lashing out at every one around fix a meeting with your boss to discuss the matter. Seek his help to delegate some of the tasks to others or prioritise your work. If you are looking for cooperation of your co-workers and subordinates for a new endeavour do not force your will on them. A stress free way would always be to negotiate and obtain their buy-in.
Develop self-confidence: People with low self-confidence often feel frustrated at failure. They get angry at their own shortcomings. In order to have better control on your anger you must learn to accept your deficits. Develop self-confidence to build on your strengths and overcome your weaknesses.
Excess of anything is bad: Perfection is a virtue but if you carry it too far you create problems for yourself. If you cannot accept mistakes or errors committed by yourself and others it leads to unwarranted tension. If you always long for success in every thing you do you subject yourself to severe stress when things don’t work out. Crammed up stress leads to frustration and anger. It is important not to lose faith in your abilities and treat every failure as a learning experience.
Successful people direct their anger at problems and not people. Their focus on finding solutions is what makes them truly great.
N. PURNIMA SRIKRISHNA
faqs@cnkonline
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