Repairing respect
THE LAST job I held lasted exactly six months. It was a senior post -- well paid, a couple of nice, decent colleagues and attractive perks. However, one thing that bothered and upset me was the lack of respect and an almost utter disdain for the employees generally and me in particular, or so I felt. My boss often treated me as if I had been hired specifically on whom to wipe her feet. Initially, I held on - no doubt tempted by the attractive pay packet. But the day money stopped being the attractant, I left. It was better to be jobless or have an underpaid job than suffer the humiliation and disrespect every day.
I am not alone. Ask anyone in your workplace what treatment they want the most at work. They will likely top their list with the desire to be treated with dignity and respect. An informal atmosphere at the workplace is good - up to a point. But impolite behaviour often passes off as casualness in most workplaces today. And too much of it can lead to hurt feelings because of careless comments and bad manners.
If you are a stickler for a little deference and respect at the workplace you will not only find yourself in a minority but will also be overwhelmed by the prevailing civility crisis at most modern workplaces. Often rudeness, misunderstandings and perhaps a brace of lawsuits are just a suit away. Come to think of it, it just needs a little consideration to make life easy and enjoyable for all concerned. Camaraderie is fine as long as you show some respect too.
For instance, one of the common blunders most of us make is to assume that we can be on first term basis with just about anyone... worse, even pet names are not spared! If anything, respect is a two-way street. Until you have established a relationship with the person or been invited by the person to use their first/ pet name, address them formally. There are exceptions- When the other is roughly the same age or rank you can address them informally - unless they object.
Cultivate
Should managers seek to develop respect? This is a dilemma that most senior employees face. A small fact that most people forget is that respect cannot be commanded. It has to be gained or earned. Demanding respect is no way to gain it. Respect earned is an investment that can be realised later, be it for creativity or commitment. Your people should respect you not just because of your position of authority, but because they observe what you do, and hence they know who you really are. Employees keenly observe their seniors to see if they are honourable and can be trusted. Your employees will respect you for that.
Mangers need to build and develop relationships of respect. Remember that respect begets respect and you can earn your people's deference by caring and encouraging them in their endeavours. Recognise and respect their worth and contribution to the company. This is where most managers fail. They find it easy to criticise the smallest of errors but even major achievements go unnoticed. Disparaging your people and their ideas will only add to their feeling of being unappreciated.
Over a period of time, respect (or the lack thereof) ultimately manifests itself in what we say, do or not do. If you want to be respected, speak up whenever there is disrespect shown. If somebody is being insulting or sarcastic to your co-workers, defend them. And if someone unfairly tries to disparage your hard work, take a deep breath and give them a piece of your mind. Diplomatically.
PADMA
padma.hyd@cnkonline.com
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