Cubicle Rage: An Overview
THERE is this little place in Hong Kong or China or somewhere where you can beat up a car for a price. Yes, you heard it right. You actually pay for the pleasure of being able to hammer and thrash a poor old Chevrolet into pulp. And the best part is, it is perfectly legal. It is legalised assault if you will. In fact, the activity is so popular it has spawned doppelgängers in the US. There actually are high schools and colleges that raise funds by permitting students to wreck automobiles in return for wads of cash that go to noble ends - food and shelter for the rich and famous so that they can get richer and more famous.
If you are like me, the first question that claws its way out of the deepest recesses of your labyrinthine synapses that pass for your mind is - how do I get myself some of that? After all, what can be more fun than wanton destruction and wild-eyed mayhem? Plenty of things actually, but we will leave that for later. The second thing that you should ask, even if it is rather uncomfortable to do so, is - why is it so popular? Is it just a manifestation of the inherent blood lust that our cavemen forefathers have unwittingly left behind in our DNA encryption? Perhaps, but that doesn't explain everything. Is it because somewhere deep inside, we all hate cars? Hardly. Most of us treat our vehicles better than we do our friends, and certainly better than we treat our spouses - they drive us we don't drive them!
So, what is it? What can possibly propel a normal law-abiding God-fearing individual into acts of mindless violence? Anger. Not surprisingly, the trend was started by enterprising youngsters as a recourse for stressed out employees and businessmen to let off their steam and smash their frustration into tiny little fragments with a baseball bat.
The car is just a symbol. It could be that boss who yelled at you this morning, it could be that incompetent colleague who delayed you because he couldn't finish his work on time; it could be that unyielding client who just won't give in to your demands. In short, it could be anybody. It could even be you. They say justice is blind. Anger then, is even blinder.
Anger at work is a universal phenomenon and a lot can be written about it, but it still wouldn't be enough. Exhaustive as any manual on anger management might be, it would still fall short of curing the problem because while you can rationalise and philosophise about it, you can't shoo it away. And as is often the case, the crazed employee who climbs a watchtower with a Remington rifle and goes on a shooting spree is spurred not by the rational need to reduce a burgeoning population but by the irrational desire for soothing violence. Okay, so that is an extreme case. Luckily, most employers, a majority of them at least, weed out the homicidal ones by craftily asking them if they know how to shoot and whether Remington makes anything besides typewriters during the interview. So, what they are left with are normal people like you and me (especially me) who tend to fly off the handle every once in a while because their bodily juices trigger them to. Why does this happen? The external causes are too numerous and possibly too graphic for loose mention in these "U" rated pages, but internal causes aren't. It is amazing just how many people talk themselves into a tornado. Not the one they show in National Geographic of course, but a metaphorical one. Anger is a lot like a tornado. It is turbulent and circular; it annihilates everything in its path in a froth of swirling rage; and it usually wears itself out in time. Unfortunately, in a job you do not always have the luxury of time.
There are two things you should know: a) how to deal with your own anger; and b) how to deal with a colleague's anger.
Dealing with your own anger is pretty simple. The first step is to take a hold on yourself. Make a conscious clenched-jawed effort not to say or do something until the storm has passed you by. Then, inhale and exhale upto twenty times. This will give you a moment to calm down and retract your fangs. This also serves the purpose of letting your adversary know that you are controlling yourself and add to his mindless terror. Now, identify the object of your anger. Collect your thoughts, organise them into a message and then talk to the object of your ire. In the bulk of cases, anger happens because of events that you feel are beyond your control. It creates that strange feeling of helplessness that forms the seed of frustration, which in turn gives way to anger.
Dealing with somebody else's anger is a lot trickier. For starters, there is little you can do if your colleague storms into your cubicle waving a butcher's knife. Except run. However, statistics show that this is highly unlikely to happen. Cubicles are too small for storming into. So, what you could do is this:
(a)Sympathise with him: Say things like `I'm so sorry this happened. I don't blame you for being angry. Please have a seat and we will talk about it.' This usually takes the wind out of him (provided that is, you have a seat to offer him). Then...
(b)Act interested: Your body language is important. You have to show the right expression of concern. Apologise if you are in the wrong and let him know that you will do whatever you can to rectify your mistake.
(c)Be amicable: This is important. Search for a compromise. As is said, all great things are accomplished not with cannons, but by compromise.
Of course, as I have earlier said, a lot can be written about anger, but most of it wouldn't come even close to covering the whole gamut of emotions that people are capable of. However, these guidelines should be of some help. If it isn't and you still find yourself bristling with fury, try bashing an abandoned car. Your boss's one up in front is a good place to start. Only make sure nobody catches you at it.
ARJUN SENGUPTA
arjuns.hyd@cnkonline.com
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