Get Noticed, You Nut!
WHOA... .I didn't mean you, dear reader. How could you even dream that I would call you a nut, when you aren't even certified? Let me assure you, it is my chum, Priya "The Baingan" Karthikeyan, who is the butt (no offence) of my tirade. Last week she was mewling about feeling like Squiggly the earthworm's first cousin once removed. I told her it was pure baloney, since her girth prevents one from entertaining any such thoughts. She replied that it was all because of her boss - a heartless, unfeeling and sort of unkind man. But, I alleged, aren't all bosses Machiavellian Gargoyles simply by virtue of being the big Boss? She groaned in reply and griped about how the Boss routinely calls her `Kathrikayan' though her name was `Karthikeyan'. I suggested that he might be a student of Dr.Spooner, but then she assured me that he was the acme of orthoepy. She added that even if one could discount this, what about his suggestion that she join the team on a trip to Uttarkashi? What seems to be the problem with that, I mused aloud. Plenty, she wailed, for the rest of the team planned to toddle off to gorgeous Goa! This of course established that the Boss was indeed a tad hard on her and I had little choice but tell her `Get noticed, you nut!'
"Oh, but they do notice me!"
The Baingan promised me. Why, she said, just last week the team-leader affectionately dubbed her Scarlet Pimpernel, when a rash of pimples embellished her already ruddy visage. Imbecile, I chided her, that's hardly complimentary and she keened ever so keenly. Ergo, to help her register on the Boss's radar, I hatched a plan and put it into action. And this is where you figure in the grand scheme of things, dear reader. For if you too are constantly seen-through, use these sterling suggestions to get opaque! Err... noticed, that is.
Lights, cameras, action!
Grab some spotlight. The (unsaid) operative words here are `for the right reasons'. If, perchance you spill milk on the conference room carpet, don't cry over it; more importantly, avoid the glare by hook or crook, mostly crook. But, if you have, accidentally, done something right, be sure to let the world know. Which brings us to the next point...
Blow your own trumpet or flute, but make sure you play an elementary tune. If you attempt the `Amridhavarshani' and it lands up sounding like the `Punaagavaraali', you will attract only the corporate reptiles in general and snakes in particular. Therefore;
Get others to talk about you. Besides, what's the point in being the best-kept-secret, when everybody else zooms past you? Network widely. Employ the LAN, WAN, anything at all... so long as it isn't banned. But to give them something to talk about...
Be focused and leverage your skill-sets. If you have a catholic interest in all facets of your job, you would probably be recognised. But if you are a summa cum laude even in just one aspect, you will hog the limelight, much to the consternation of fellow-swines!
Stop finding fault, and start finding solutions. That, my dear friend, will get you noticed, and how!
Strive to make the Boss happy - within limits of course. Find out what plagues him, and short of bubonic plague, endeavour to help him out with everything else. If you actively assist him, he can scarcely slight you, could he?
Learn to love pariahs. If you do love dogs, Maneka Gandhi will probably shake your paw. But if you want the boss to, take on projects that nobody else wants. You might wonder if the soul of Mad-hatter has suddenly possessed me, and what good can come out of this singularly stupid idea. But trust me, even if it doesn't pan out to be an unqualified success, people that count will commence counting on your commitment!
Now that you've begun to act the part, you've got to look it! And the simplest way to do is to ape the boss. But, remember! If you are male, and your boss habitually wears a skirt (for any number of reasons, including the presence of two X chromosomes on the genome) then you should imitate her judiciously. For any adult male-person wearing a skirt to work will elicit attention; but will you be able to live it down? Ever? Unless that is, you play the bagpipes and know the odd highland skirl.
Cynosure of all eyes!If you follow the above advice, you will definitely lose your shroud of invisibility! It may be a wonderful thing to possess if you happen to study at Hogwarts; but in the present corporate scenario where visibility translates into growth, it might be wise as well as wonderful to get into the boss's line of vision. And in case you were wondering about Karthikeyan, let me assure you that all is as fine as can be. Though the boss still calls her `Kathrikayan' (possibly out of sheer habit), the entire team recognises her as an invaluable resource and certainly treats her as one! If anything, her smiles, curving upwards stand testimony to her newfound status! Go on, join the winners club, and bask in all the attention! Oh, and yes, did I say that she's shaken her compulsive chocolate habit and looks less rotund replacing avoirdupois with accolades?
APARNA KATHRIKAYAN
aa@cnkonline.com
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