The Nitty-Gritty of Negotiation
``IN BUSINESS you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.''
The art of negotiating is tricky, a lot like walking a tightrope with a crate of eggs in your hands. The slightest carelessness on your part could break a deal, upset a client or worse, cost you your job. Negotiating is all about equilibrium. You have to strike a delicate balance between thought and action.
Basically, it is a process that seeks to reach a solution acceptable to all parties involved. However, it is important for the parties to want a solution. If they are unwilling to bury the hatchet, there's not much words can do.
The ability to negotiate is a highly prized commodity. Whatever the reason for disagreement, be it pay, promotion, or a conflict with coworkers, competent negotiating skills will give you the edge you need. Negotiation isn't just about getting your own way or giving in. In fact, those are the consequences of not negotiating. It results in resentment and a feeling of being used. Negotiating is about compromise. The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people half way.
In order to be a successful negotiator, you need to be emotionally well-balanced. One who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of diplomacy.
There are different styles of negotiating, which can be adopted depending on the issue under conflict.
The Bargaining Style- A win-lose approach where one party wins at the expense of another. It usually depends on the situation. Sometimes, when the interests are truly conflicting, compromise is not going to be the solution.
Lose-lose Style - Here, one follows a dog in the manger attitude- "If I don't win, neither should you", so everyone comes out a loser. This is the worst-case scenario - where the need to hurt the other party's interests outweighs finding solutions.
Compromise - As the name suggests, it's a `you give some, I give some' approach, where each party reaches some sort of settlement. This is the best outcome of a conflict and embodies the true art of negotiating.
Win-Win Approach - This is the ideal solution where everyone comes out glowing with warmer feelings than when they went in to negotiate. This satisfies the needs of all parties, but it's possible only when there is no conflict between the participating groups.
Successful negotiating is like appearing for an examination - you need to be thorough with your homework and have the ability to think quickly on your feet. The possibility for things to go wrong is very high at the negotiating table. As in chess, every move counts. Or when you're on a tightrope, every step counts. There are so many factors that can cause a negotiation to spiral out of control - high emotions, the potential for misunderstanding, differing interpretations, preconceived ideas, or just big egos. Be it a business transaction, a divorce or international peace talks, these factors play a crucial role.
Here's how to try to avoid some of the pitfalls.
Preparation: This is the foundation of all negotiations. Be prepared. It's a maxim that has endured throughout the ages. Having done your homework will instill much-needed confidence needed for a successful negotiation. Study the opposition, research the topic, identify the needs and demands of both sides, and generate a range of options and solutions. The more proposals you can come up with the better. To negotiate effectively, you have to start from a position of power. Know what your strengths are and act accordingly. If you can't reach a fair deal, also be prepared to walk away.
Be flexible: Don't go to the table with a bend or break attitude. Keep an open mind. Listen to what the other party has to say.. And always remember, bargaining is the key to any successful negotiation. When you go shopping you are ready to spend money, so when you go negotiating, be ready to expend some of those demands in order to get something in return. Negotiating is like a see-saw; sometimes up, sometimes down.
Identify Your Priorities: Arrange your list of demands in an order of priority. You should know exactly how much you are willing to concede or compromise on each factor. Also be ready to justify your point of view. Decide, in advance, what really matters to you and what doesn't. In other words, where you'll compromise and where you won't. Then stick to it.
Conduct: There's something called a likeability factor. When you like something or someone, you're more likely to concede to their demands. Work on being likeable - it will give you a better chance of influencing the opposition. Be respectful and courteous. Learn to rein in your emotions and avoid reacting immediately to attacks even if the other person is being difficult. Above all, don't come out looking like a manipulator, because that's the reason everyone is at the negotiating table in the first place - to avoid feeling used.
Encourage Positive Steps: Start the meeting on a neutral tone. Try to downplay any negative vibes you get and encourage any positive signal that the other party gives out. Encourage the opposition to take a look at the situation from your point of view. Highlight areas where agreements have been reached and list out the issues that still need to be dealt with. It shows progress is alive and kicking.
Keep searching for solutions: Be armed with a volley of solutions. Don't try to dictate or determine one single solution, rather play your cards cleverly be providing as many options as possible; much like taking many shots at a target with the hope that at least one will hit the bull's eye.
Listen actively: Listening forms the core of any negotiating process. The other side of communicating is called listening. This involves actually hearing the other party by putting aside preconceived notions and entrenched antagonism. Listening actively shows respect and will make the other party feel valued.
Be alert to cues: Pick up verbal and non-verbal signals and cues. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Learn to read body language. Silences and pauses can be used to understand how the negotiations are progressing. Keep your antennae alert to any changes in the flow of discussion.
Interpersonal skills: A skillful negotiator must be good with people. Interpersonal skills play a pivotal role in the negotiating process. The ability to communicate, persuade and placate is very important. That's why negotiations are best done face-to-face. Strong factual data is another prerequisite of a successful negotiation, so the strategy should be to employ a combination of both. Just being charming will not settle the deal - you need to bolster your argument with facts.
Negotiations are meant to stem discord, not sow new seeds of resentment. Look to build bridges, not burn them. Pat backs, not stab them.
Salma Aliakbar
faqs@cnkonline.com
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