Look for a silver lining
THE OPTIMIST sees the doughnut; the pessimist sees the hole.
Anonymous
Every time there is an Indo-Pak cricket match, my family shoos me out of the living room to prevent me from uttering dark, foreboding prophesies which often have a tendency to come true! India ends up losing the crucial match while I triumphantly crow, `I told you so'! But, I can't help it! I am a born pessimist.
Pessimism is the tendency to expect negative outcome of events. Ironically, the more pessimistic people are the more they are likely to fail. Setbacks hit them harder and they take a longer time to get over an adversity than optimists. Unfortunately, they achieve less too, for they cannot believe that they are capable of better performance. They are also less persistent when faced with tough, difficult tasks. On the other hand when they are successful they cannot really enjoy it as they either deem it transitory or think that they are not worth it.
Pessimism is not `built in' in your personality; it is an acquired behaviour. It is negative thinking that, if persistent over time, negates all successful outcomes. It is important that you deal with your pessimistic and negative side before it destroys your professional and personal relations.
Coping with negativity and pessimism:
Do not blame yourself when things go wrong. `I knew I couldn't get it right' or `I cannot do' is the wrong response. Instead, try thinking of what you have learnt from the experience. Everything need not be hopeless all the time!
View the negative event as being a temporary setback, caused due to external factors. Don't let an isolated event undermine all that's good in your life
Persevere. Don't give up too easily in the face of a struggle. Try and focus on possibilities and choices. For a pessimist it is indeed difficult to come out with a positive statement of faith, nonetheless attempt to consciously cultivate a positive attitude and always expect something good to come out
Stop giving negative messages to yourself. Even die-hard pessimists can be coaxed into looking at the brighter side of life. They are not a lost cause. The minute you feel that you are letting negative thoughts take a grip on you, replace them with more optimistic interpretations. Optimism can be `learnt' just like any other skill. And like any other skill it needs practice before it comes naturally to you
Identify the feelings that precede your negative attitude and realise how your behaviour interferes with a healthy interaction with others. Get the support of others in reminding you when you are being negative or pessimistic. Accept yourself as a person who may slip back into his old, tired and true behaviour. But don't give up, yet. Importantly, get started on building your self-esteem
The fact is thinking optimistically can make you live happier and longer. Though it is not always easy to view the world through rose- tinted glasses, you can at least see the glaze on the doughnut and disregard the hole!
PADMA RAMESH
Padma.hyd@cnkonline.com
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