(E)spousing a cause
CUPID these days lets fly more frequently at the workplace than anywhere else! Of all the employed men and women in the world today, more than a quarter are either engaged or married to each other, and work with the same company. Giving the popular axiom, `Till death do us apart' a whole new flavour and meaning, and making it to `Till company policy do us part!'
Meet Arundathi and Niren, software engineers who work for the same company and are colleagues.
Like most modern love stories, Arundathi and Niren saw, met each other, fell in love, got married, and continue to live happily ever since at their workplace. They now share more than the home fires, they share the same deadlines, work shoulder to shoulder, have the same friends and colleagues, eat out together, hear the same office gossip and work on the same floor.
The only time they stay away from each other is when they need to travel on work to different destinations.
A rather familiar scenario for most working couples today. While most organisations remain non-interfering in the matter, some are stringent about not having couples working for the same organisation.
But for the couple, changing gears from a colleague- sweetheart- husband and wife team can throw up many challenges. Like Arthi and Rajesh, who work for the same organisation and even collaborate on projects. And in one of the `best couple' games, realised they knew more about which project each was working on than they did about each other's personal tastes and preferences on a personal level.
Here's an `I'm ok, you're ok' take on the whole issue from their standpoint to others in a similar position.
The story begins NOW...
Reality often sinks in once the initial honeymoon phase at the workplace fades away. The initial hurdle that most couples will face is to fit or rather re-fit in the work environment.
The first realisation that will dawn on them is to find fellow colleagues and bosses finding it awkward and uncomfortable dealing with a husband-wife pair in a work team.
Funnily enough, now that its legal and you don't need to hide the fact that you like each other, its still essential to maintain a healthy professional distance all the time! For couples working in the same place, maintaining a sense of individuality and professionalism becomes paramount. It's important therefore to know where to draw the line.
By being mindful and respectful of your spouse's time and yours at the workplace and not intruding into it will ensure that the work ethos remains undisturbed and will lead to minimal friction or factitious situations. At the workplace, it pays to follow the ideals of communism and treat your spouse just as you would your other colleagues!
Colleague or spouse
When both, the husband and wife, work within earshot of or yelling distance from each other, the urge to discuss family and domestic issues can be overpowering.
This is however, not what the rest of the team finds exciting. So restrict domestic squabbles, who's to do the laundry when etc, to break times when you can cosy up to each other. Although, be mindful of the fact that it's just as important to spend a few break times with colleagues.
A la Holmes
It's easier too, to swoop and snoop to check if your spouse is talking too much or too little with someone! And that, most veterans believe is a capital crime which every couple should avoid doing. It's important to foster a sense of trust and friendship to make spousal workplace relationships work.
Look beyond the confines of personal relationships, and give each other the necessary emotional and professional space to grow. Like how it probably would have been like had you been working for different organisations. As in any other group setting, teamwork and team dynamics must be smooth flowing for a workplace to function harmoniously.
Attention- retention
Spending time together becomes easy when you work at the same place. But it can also be too much of a good thing. Truth be told, it's wiser to work with separate departments.
This way, each is free to be and perform in the work-style that suits them best. However, by virtue of being in the same location, it's difficult not to cross the fine line between not equating professional behaviour with personal closeness. But it's a skill that must at least be acquired for world peace!
Home office?
The hearth is the hearth and the office is the office and ne'er the twain should meet! When couples work together, it is only natural to want to get as much domestic work done as possible, on the parallel.
But take turns and get the work done without disrupting your work and your spouse's or others' work schedules. Save your breaks for this.
Ergo! Spousal revelry to rivalry
Although not an Olympic sport, this particular pursuit has the capacity to grow to Olympic proportions! Couples who are highly ambitious often face this problem if they serve the same employer in similar capacities. In their eagerness and enthusiasm to be and help each other be on the cutting edge, a competitive attitude may unconsciously seep in. If the pattern isn't recognised immediately, it can become a full-blown war of the egos because work invariably intrudes on the home front too.
Who does better than the other and who impresses the boss, and so on. The only way to sustain a peaceful relationship would be to work away from each other.
Love makes the world do a double take!
Any good or bad word spreads faster than lightning in a small organisation. But in a larger place, it takes, perhaps a few days to years. It's therefore a less cumbersome process neither to advertise nor downplay the fact that you're married and have your spouse for a colleague.
Unless, it's absolutely necessary to explain. Often being thoroughly professional will ensure that there are minimal problems or confusion. But minor issues such as similar surnames, a greater degree of familiar and camaraderie may cause others, especially clients to become curious.
What if...
The company goes bust or is facing bad times, like Enron did? Post scandal, it was found that Enron had quite a few married couples working for them, and none of them were prepared for what ensued.
The couples were left to survive on love and fresh air, literally. As a case in point, if you've met in the same place, it's always prudent to work in diametrically different places!
SAMYUKTA KODA
samyukta.hyd@cnkonline.com
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Opportunities
