Last week, I explored some words that are misused in English. This week, I focus on my less-than-insane need for editing and a compulsive requirement to read something — just anything — when I have nothing to do.
There have been times when I’m in the bathroom waiting for the bucket to fill or clothes to soak and I’ve grabbed the same shampoo bottle and read the list of ingredients. Sometimes it’s a shower gel. But on all these occasions, I find myself mentally removing a comma or adding one, substituting luxurious for indulgent, luscious for when luxurious is already present, repeating to myself that PEG stands for polyethylene glycol and generally feeling quite smug for knowing what is otherwise considered useless.
A reason why I always make sure I have something to read when I dine alone is the angst of striking up conversations with strangers and friends alike. It’s the reason why my phone is filled with numerous links I’ve scooped up online — and this isn’t just apps like Pocket or NYT, I’m talking about a whole drafts section on my email filled with more than 100 links and counting... Of course, this is apart from two books I carry around in any bag I schlep.
If you aren’t chuckling by now — and I’m sure you aren’t — this ought to do the trick. Microsoft Word suggested that I change “I dine alone” to “I die alone”; I don’t think any astrologer could’ve predicted that. Maybe Word knows something we don’t. However, on the subject of editing, I passed by a shop near my house named “1Lee4U” — thinking it was a new Chinese place, I wasn’t excited. Until a friend pointed out that it stands for “Only for you”. Now I’m hooked; English seems like a fun language!
