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Updated: December 30, 2013 19:26 IST

Oops… I did it again

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Here are top 10 failed New Year resolutions of all time

I will lose 10 kilos

Give up your morning filter coffee to save 100 calories, and stop eating your mom’s amazing sweets? Nah!

I will put my finances back in order.

That would mean learning what a mutual fund is – when it comes to stacks of closely-typed documents filled with jargon, ignorance is bliss.

I will get rid of all the ‘may-need-it someday’ and ‘can’t-bear-to-throw-it’ junk

Okay, so we all know that three days after you give up and throw away that pretty piece of satin ribbon you’ve kept for years, you suddenly need it most urgently. And maybe you will end up putting all those old birthday cards into a beautiful scrapbook of memories…hey, it could happen!

I will improve my time management

And then you’d have to do all the stuff you’ve been putting off doing, on account of being ‘too busy’. This one of those things that could come back and bite you in the keister. You have been warned.

I will start exercising (see 1)

Round is a shape, too. Besides, no reason to make everyone else feel bad, is there?

I will read the news every day, not just the funnies and the horoscopes And get a faceful of bad news first thing in the morning? If you’ve given up your awareness of current events for a more Zen lifestyle, there’s no reason to go back.

I will catch up on my reading

Asterix and Obelix totally counts as reading - this is the age of the graphic novel, after all.

I will do charitable work Or, you could write an NGO a sizeable yearly check and leave the orphans/ underprivileged children/African children to whoop it up without adult supervision.

I will keep my room/house tidy

Or not. Life’s too short to waste on housework!

I will definitely keep my New Year Resolutions this time. . If you use up all your resolutions this time, what about next year??

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