Have you ever wanted to have fun so badly that you didn’t think about the consequences? I have. Back then, I did not think it’d take me on a guilt trip. Now, every time I think of it, it occupies my mind for the rest of the day.

I come from a Christian family in Hyderabad that is conservative, middle class, and worships work besides God. Better off than ever before, we dine at the best of restaurants and I have had access to excellent education and am never short of money to go on the most expensive holiday. After my B.Com in Hyderabad, I took up media studies in Bangalore, where I stayed at the college hostel. And I began to let loose. A month into college, one of our friends’ was celebrating his birthday. He was one of my closest friends which meant I had to take part in the festivities. As I was an ‘alcohol virgin’, a nickname given to me in college, my friends decided to buy every type of hard liquor available. I was secretly delighted.

The night had arrived with its enticements in bottles. My first sip of whiskey was harsh, but I liked it and I wanted more. Soon, I was taking swigs from the bottle. I was so gone into this revelry that I cared not to find out what my friends were up to. Soon, I could not stand straight. Then, I could not think straight. I know this from my friends who told me later about the night. I was told that I danced on the table where the bottles were kept. When someone tried to pull me down, I knocked down all the bottles and the floor was strewn with shards of glass.

The lights came on. Next, we hear the approaching footsteps of the hostel warden. Some of us desperately tried to clean up the mess and some others retreated into their rooms. Fear cleared my head and I suddenly became aware of what was happening around me. Holding three bottles, I sneaked into the hostel, and placed them amidst sleeping security guards. The next thing I remember was running to my room. I passed out.

In the morning, I heard angry voices interspersed with wails. My friends filled me in on what had happened: two security men were fired because they were found to be in possession of whiskey bottles. I froze. For every sip of whiskey I now take, I am filled with deep remorse. I only hope the loss of their jobs did not land them in serious trouble and that they are doing well now.