A traveller was rushing to catch his train, when he noticed a gaunt young man seated on the platform with a bed sheet spread out in front of him apparently begging.
The man had a bunch of sharpened pencils on the sheet. He quickly picked them up, dropping a couple of rupees on the sheet saying, “I am buying these from you” and departed.
Several years later the traveller whom we had seen on the railway platform was at an important party when a well-dressed and handsome young man came up to him and said, “I want to express my gratitude to you, sir..”
The traveller did not understand and looked enquiringly at the young man. The young man then said, “A few years ago, you bought pencils from me. That day you restored my self-respect and faith in myself. Your act of generosity met my need to be respected and you helped me feel valued. Thank you.”
What the young man expressed was gratitude, not praise or flattery.
When we express gratitude that tells the giver what act of his enriched our life, how it met our need and how it made us feel, we are truly expressing gratitude. Any other form of expression of thanks that is praise or a compliment is not gratitude but judgment and evaluation.
True gratitude is said in a way that is factual, meets a need in us and generates a feeling of enrichment and value for who we are.
It makes the giver a sense of accomplishment and above all celebrates the human in him.
(The writer is an organisational and behavioural consultant. Contact him at ttsrinath@vsnl.net)
