I am currently holding a job as a Clerk with the State Government. I have now cleared a competitive exam and been offered a Senior post. The pay increase offered is substantial. But the issue is that the offered job profile demands 100 per cent of my time and frequent transfers. I have a kid studying in kindergarten and my husband’s job too involves constant travelling. My parents are offering to take care of my kid but I believe that it is my responsibility to take care of my kid. Also I have noticed, whenever my kid doesn't get enough attention from us he kind of becomes reserved at school. Please advice whether I should take up the job offer or not. How should I manage the situation?

Young Mother's Dilemma

What do you feel is the ideal amount of time to spend with your son? Whatever your answer is, you probably won’t be able to spend that sort of time once you have joined the workforce. Yes, it is your responsibility to look after your kid, but you don’t have to do it alone. Your parents have offered to help out; most working women take the help of grandparents or other family members to help raise their children, so unless your parents suffer from any medical ailments that need caring for themselves, this is an option you should consider. You could also check if there is some flexibility in your schedule that will allow you to spend more time with him. When you or your husband travel, try to make sure that one of you is with your son when the other is away. Try to establish a daily routine for your son so that he does have the attention of an adult at all times (eg: you help him get ready for school, he goes to his grandparents’ house after school, you pick him up in the evening and go home together etc.). Consider also joining him in after-school activities to keep him engaged. Don’t give up the job offer until you have looked at all your options carefully. Remember, you wrote the entrance exam despite having a child, because you wanted to pursue your dream of securing a good post in the Government. Now that the dream has come true, some compromises will have to be made; that doesn’t mean that you are a bad parent.


I am 22 years old. And I have recently discontinued my a B.E(ECE) course I was purusing. But now I’m in stressed, I don’t even feel like going out, I’m unable to handle the people around me. I want to resume my studies. Is it possible. Please do tell me.

Confused now sorted

You haven’t said why you discontinued your studies. I am imagining a million different reasons now. Were you unable to cope with the academic load? Did you hate what you studied? Were you going through some personal problems at that time? If it’s one of the first two, then find something you are interested in studying and put all your efforts into pursuing that; it’s never too late to get an education, even if it’s in a field completely unrelated to ECE. Many people shift from one field to another halfway through college, so you are not alone in this. If you discontinued because of personal problems, I hope they have been resolved now. If they have not, address this first. Then speak to your university’s Admissions department and check what the procedure to re-join the institute is. Don’t get stressed by the people around you. It is the right decision to go to college and pursue a degree. All the best!

Relationships, office politics, peer pressure, teacher trouble... mail your questions to nxg.nextgen@gmail.com. Mark "Good Grief" in the subject line

More In: Nxg | Metroplus | Chennai | Columns