Good grief

Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

November 20, 2013 04:45 pm | Updated May 26, 2016 09:42 am IST - chennai

I am 23 years old. Lately, I’ve been feeling very lonely. I had proposed to a girl recently as she was my only girlfriend in college. She rejected me, but I have moved on and stopped talking to her. Now I find it difficult to concentrate on my work and sometimes I get mad at myself for no reason. I open up to my mom and she has always supported me and given me confidence, but I can’t get over it. I keep thinking to myself that I’m not fit for love. My interaction with girls has been minimal. Is it because of this? Please help me.

LONER

According to your letter, you’ve dated one girl so far, and she eventually broke up with you. Honestly, many people seem to go through a few boyfriends or girlfriends before they find ‘The One’, so I would not worry about your situation if I were you. Start by being more sociable. If you just sit by yourself, you’re only going to feel lonely and miserable, so go out and meet your friends. Find ways to meet girls too, but do not approach them with the goal of “Must Find New Girlfriend to Replace Old One ASAP”.

You say you haven’t interacted with girls much, so take this time to explore friendships with them so that you get comfortable enough to talk to the right girl when she comes along. Remember, one break-up is not a reflection on you or your personality.

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