Good Grief

Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

November 06, 2013 03:34 pm | Updated November 17, 2021 12:15 pm IST - chennai

I am 17 years old. I am being followed by a guy every day from my school to my tuition classes and then to my house as well. He seems to have no intention to stop. Sometimes he makes it obvious that he is following. He hasn't made any attempts to speak to me, but has asked my school mates about me. I am scared that this might lead to complications in the future. Now I’m terrified of stepping out of school!

STALKER TROUBLE

Put down the newspaper, pick up the phone and call the cops. Make sure you tell your parents about this issue (don’t try to resolve it yourself because you don’t want them to worry. That’s what parents are for, worrying and providing hugs on-demand). Travel in the company of an adult for the next few weeks (this includes going to school and tuition classes). Maybe you could also carry a whistle in your pocket to catch people’s attention if you need help. If you exercise caution for the next few weeks, things are sure to return to normal soon. By the way, I wasn’t kidding about calling the police the next time this happens.

I am a 21-year-old male from Chennai. I am sexually attracted to boys my age since my school days. When I see a good-looking guy somewhere, I am very much attracted to him. I watch gay pornography and have even had sex with one of my male friends. But I want to give up this behaviour. I want to be a straight guy. I am a sociable person and have female friends as well. But my attraction towards men is invariable. Please help me overcome this problem and lead a normal life of a man who is interested only in women and not men.

DISORIENTED

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having trouble with your sexual identity. You must be feeling a lot of pressure to become interested in women, but it looks like a considerable amount of it is coming from you yourself. I think you should take some time to come to terms with who you are first, and then decide whether you would feel comfortable staying the same way or changing. Start trying to meet others who have been through similar experiences as yours. Find out what decisions they took and why they took them. You could try contacting Chennai Dost, a community for LGBT youth in the city. They have a peer counselling service (Ajay Sathyan: +918056116158) to provide support services for people in your position who have a lot of concerns but are unsure of how to tackle them.

Relationships, office politics, peer pressure, teacher trouble... mail your questions to nxg.nextgen@gmail.com. Mark "Good Grief" in the subject line

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