Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.
I’m an 18-year-old girl. I go to my aunt’s house once a year during my summer holidays. For the past two years I’ve been noticing this guy. Last year he started noticing me too. But we did not talk. I knew it was just an attraction and let it pass away. I thought I’d forget him as soon as I come home, but to my surprise I still think about him everyday. I found out his Facebook profile a while ago but I don’t have the courage to send a friend request. I don’t think he’d remember me. I’ve been stalking him in on Facebook and I’ve found out that he may be interested in another girl. Now should be I be ‘friends’ with him on Facebook and talk to him? What should I do? Please help.
Nope, nope, nope. If you use your Facebook account for normal, everyday purposes, then a basic requirement before friending anyone is to have some sort of conversation with him. Remember, by adding people as your friends, you’re most likely giving them access to your personal info and countless photos (let’s face it; very few of us know how to strike the right balance with our privacy settings). So you need to make sure the person you are about to add is someone who seems at least moderately trustworthy. If you haven’t even chatted with him in the comments section of a mutual friend’s profile picture before (I can’t believe I just typed that sentence out) then you shouldn’t be adding him. I think the only people who try pursuing romantic relationships on FB with strangers they’ve never spoken to are young men who follow their friend requests up with a thoughtful message like, “Hai dear u r 2 hot in ur pic can v make friendship pls…” (Apparently, ladies love it when you selectively forget letters of the alphabet). My suggestion is, go to your aunt’s place during the coming holidays. Talk to this guy and make sure he meets all the basic criteria you would look for in a potential boyfriend (i.e., single, intelligent, good natured, devoid of sociopathic tendencies, etc.) then add him and see where things go.
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