Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.
I am a 20-year-old girl. I was in a relationship with a boy for two years and nothing went well between us. So I broke up with him as I was not happy. But now I am scared about my future and am not looking for any relationship. All I want to do is focus on my studies and I would like to marry someone who will be chosen by my parents. But this is where I am confused. Should I tell him about my past or shouldn’t I? I don’t know what to do, I am really scared as I do not know the repercussions. What if he does not marry after he knows my past? And if I hide it would be like breaking his trust…Please tell me what to do?
This isn’t something to be scared of at all, and I would suggest that you just go along with the situation as and when you face it. You are entitled to keeping some information about yourself private (and so is your future partner) but obviously, any significant history of medical conditions or STDs must be disclosed by both of you before you decide on marriage. You don’t have to volunteer information about your ex if you don’t want to. If your prospective partner asks about your dating history, answer briefly but honestly, and use the opportunity to ask him about his past as well. If you find him recoiling in horror when he hears you were in a relationship, ask yourself if you are comfortable pursuing a lifelong commitment with someone who judges you for having had a boyfriend a long time ago.
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