Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

I am a boy studying in Std XI. When I was 12 or 13, I used to never worry about not having girlfriends. But now I care much about it. I am always jealous of my other friends who can talk easily with girls. I asked my parents about this and they said that this thought is unnecessary. I too realise it, but this seems to be on my mind everyday. Though it doesn’t affect my studies, it affects me psychologically. I feel I am ugly and that I won’t be able to get into a relationship with a girl ever. Please help.

CONCERNED ME

You’re a teenager. The girls in your class are teenagers. So you’re bound to have something in common with them, merely by belonging to the same subspecies of humans. The next time you’re talking to a girl, keep the topics general and ask her about herself and her interests (same as you would if you were talking to a guy) like what are her hobbies? What kind of music does she listen to? What was the last bad movie she saw, and was it “so bad it was good” or was it just “really, really bad,” period? Don’t enter a conversation with preconceived notions. Most girls aren’t shallow enough to ignore someone just because of their looks, and most of them don’t talk to boys just to get boyfriends. The end aim right now should be to make a new friend, not to practise being a good boyfriend in the future.

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