Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

I am a 21-year-old and in love with a guy for four years and we had a relationship within a year and after that he approached with his parents and my parents. They were not ready to accept him as he was a Muslim and we are Brahmins. They inquired about him and told me that he is not good. But I know him and we are in love. My parents are still not ok with it. I even went ahead and shifted my house to see if it would make a difference but it was in vain. What decision should I take now?

Hopeful me

This is a decision that is going to affect you in the long-term, so you need to think carefully before proceeding. The two of you are from different backgrounds, so before involving your parents, have a discussion with him, and then with his parents, on what life will be like after marriage. Explain your career or educational goals to them. What would your responsibilities towards the family be? What religion(s) would your children be brought up to follow? These are some of the issues that would require compromises from both his side and yours. It would also help to talk to others who have successfully managed to navigate an intercaste/interreligious marriage. Once you are sure of your decision, then re-approach your parents and ask what their concerns are so that you can address them.

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