Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

I had a friend, who has been so close to me for almost six years, right from our college days. Though it’s not that easy for a girl and boy to be friends in this society, we’ve managed to maintain our friendship so much so that other friends have been jealous of us. We use to fight often but still always managed to be together. But of late, we have started arguing a lot and he never cares to listen to me. Usually, it’s been him who would give up for me every time. And now everything is in reverse. He gets annoyed easily with whatever I do and he does things to irritate me. At times I feel bad at how our relationship has changed and feel like we almost lost our friendship. I don’t know what has to be done to regain our good old days back. I still value his friendship and I’m sure that he does too. Please help! - TRUE FRIEND

Because of its volatile, dynamic nature, friendships can produce some pleasant and unpleasant surprises to all the parties involved. So far, you’ve only given an account of your own feelings and what you think your friend’s feelings on this friendship are, so I can only assume that you haven’t actually spoken to him about why he has suddenly started pushing you away. If you have been close friends for six years, you should feel comfortable asking him about this new change in his behaviour towards you. Perhaps he’s stressed out because of a family issue or problem at work and is taking it out on you. Or maybe his views on your friendship is not the same as yours anymore, in which case you’ll need to rethink this relationship. You’ll never know till you ask!  


Good GriefDecember 12, 2012