Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for five years. Everything was fine between us until one day last year when he suddenly called it off stating that he didn’t feel the “love” as it was before. He says it’s his decision and not because of anything I might have done. He asked me forget him. I’ve grown up loving him and it’s very hard for me to get over him; I still love him. I see him everyday, he glances at me all the time but never talks, sometimes tries to avoid me. I try to be happy and make fun when he is around but I really feel hurt and depressed. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
STILL IN LOVE
Your ex has already given you the right advice: forget him. Getting your life back on track after the end of a relationship is a hard thing to do, and takes time. However, it's been a year, and that should have been time enough. There's no point in holding onto old feelings now since it's clear that your ex has done his best to move on (he had even used the timeless “It’s not you, it's me” to drive the message home).
Start by doing all the easy things: delete all traces of him from your phone; unfriend him on Facebook to resist the urge to visit his profile every now and then; and definitely unfollow him on Twitter (ugh, social media is complicating breakups these days). Once you've done this, start spending more time with friends, and turn your attention to activities that you had previously never gotten around to doing.
These sound like clichéd suggestions, but clichés sometimes work! Yes, your feelings have been hurt, but plenty of other opportunities to find love will come your way, and your preoccupation with your ex will only prevent you from noticing them.