Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

I have a crush on the office eye candy. But here's the problem: 1. He’s a senior and a recluse and, 2. I’ve got loads of competition. If I ever confess my feelings to him and if it backfires, I’ll never be able to show my face to him again and I will never hear the end of it from my “competitors”. Help! - EMOTIONAL WRECK

Let’s just get straight to the hypothetical. Suppose you confess your feelings and he rejects you. Then, as you rightly pointed out, you’re in for a surplus of awkward encounters with him and with your now presumably delighted “competitors” (what is your company called, by the way? “High School Pvt. Ltd.”?).

However, suppose he reciprocates your feelings! Now you’ve probably got to look for a new job, because your co-workers will start interpreting every scrap of recognition/salary bonus that comes your way as “the perks of dating a senior”, not as “earned through hard work”.  Are you prepared for that? Also, there is the issue of his personality. As any romance novel worth its salt will tell you, the good-looking recluse almost always harbours a dark secret. Who knows what sort of secret your eye candy is concealing? Maybe he was wrongfully accused of murder and is now hiding from the police until they catch the true culprit (which, if you’ve read the right novels, will only happen after 360 pages and one kidnapping - probably yours)?  Maybe he has a completely insane wife named Bertha — whom he was tricked into marrying — locked up in his attic? Do you really need all this unnecessary drama in your life?

There’s also the matter of your boss and the good people at HR who may have a problem with you dating your co-workers. Anyway, to answer your question: (1) Don’t ask your colleagues out and (2) Just, don’t.

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Keywords: anxiety worries


Good GriefDecember 12, 2012