Its supporters say that Vogue or Deepika or anyone else should be able to talk about women’s rights in any way that they know how to. Everything goes towards raising awareness about the issue. There is merit to this argument because it basically supports a democracy of opinion — there cannot be a hierarchy about who says what.
I also know there are masses of people out there who will not watch or read anything unless it is packaged in a filmi or glamorous way. It is like using Amitabh Bachchan to deliver a polio message — you wrap boring medicine in a sexy capsule.
Unfortunately, in this so-called democratisation, feminism has become the flavour of the season.
Everybody writes about it. It is like writing about films or cricket in India — whatever bilge you produce will be swallowed by readers. And that is what I suspect the Vogue video is about. It is fashionable, it says provocative things, it has beautiful women in it — you can be guaranteed it will go viral. Which it has. Last I checked, the video had over 58 lakh hits.
But what does it really do for feminism? Let me share some statistics: in Delhi, one-third of all rape cases heard in one year dealt with consenting couples whose parents accused the boy of rape. What does this mean?
It means that when a girl and a boy elope, and are found and brought back, the parents cover up the ‘shame’ by accusing the boy of abduction and rape. Or, if a young couple has sex by mutual consent and the parents find out, the terrified girl will just pretend she was raped. In fact, even parents who have no objection to their daughter marrying a boy from a lower caste are forced by the clan group to disown the couple and shout rape. Clearly, our society is hardly prepared to allow women to tell the truth.
False accusations not only ruin countless young lives but play right into the hands of the patriarchy, which will not go into the reasons of why girls are frightened into lying but will promptly demand that the rape laws be diluted.
Feminism has to be about teaching our young women to be brave enough to own the truth. To create a society that can handle the truth. About telling parents and daughters that every lie creates a vicious cycle in which it is women’s liberties that are again trapped.
That every such incident reinforces the convenient myth that even real rapes were just consensual sex.
Feminism is not just about revealing your body or doing what you please without regard for others. Neither is feminism always about outrage and poetry.
It is about the boring, difficult things. Like fighting for equal pay, demanding crèches in the workplace, refusing to lie about your ex-husband because you want more alimony or refusing to call it rape if the man walks out on you. Feminism is about responsibility.
