A young software engineer was upset because her boss yelled at her, and work pressure was getting unbearable. She had a meltdown at home and told her mother she wanted to die. Fortunately, she sought the help of a psychiatrist who taught her to analyse her priorities in life and the need to de-stress. But some of these cases end in a young person taking his or her own life.
Ramakrishnan Rajendran, consultant psychiatrist, Naveen Hospital, is worried at the number of youngsters who come in with depression. “They are not able to tackle pressure, grief and restrictions.” The reasons could be anything from bad marks in exams to not being able to own the latest gadget. In the older people, it is often a feeling of being unloved or unwanted by children. He classifies his patients into two categories — those with suicidal ideation/tendencies and those who attempt suicide. “The situation might be the same, but the way we perceive it and react to it is different. It is pre-conditioned in the brain, and is dependant on both ‘nature and nurture’,” he says.
Treatment helps most of them overcome their issues and they go on to lead full lives, but the stigma about visiting a psychiatrist still persists, he says. “The best thing is for people to visit their family physician, who will then refer them to us. And visiting a psychiatrist is very important. The mind’s health must not be ignored.”
Says D. Srinivasan, consultant psychiatrist, KMCH: In children, suicidal tendencies manifest in many forms — from falling grades and listlessness to vague pains and lack of sleep. It is up to the parents to identify the symptoms and seek professional help. He says there are two ‘peak’ decades when suicidal tendencies spike — during adolescence and teenage (11-19) and in the 60s.
He says, loneliness and lack of social interaction are also contributors to the trend. “Because of lack of time of people for people. We live in a disconnectedly connected world, where we speak to strangers on Facebook but not to those at home. Also, ‘good time’ friends are not really a ‘support system’, he says.
Dr. Alok Sarin, Consultant Psychiatrist, Sitaram Bhartia Institute of Science and Research, New Delhi answers a few questions:
Why are some kids able to handle stress better while others are driven to taking their own lives?
We do not know the answer to this, but it is likely that both genetic and environmental factors play a role here. The complex interplay between both makes for a great variability in response.
What are the signs one should watch out for that will give an inkling that the children are in that vulnerable state of mind that could push them over the edge?
While there are no specific signs, withdrawing from normal activities and interests, aloofness and disengagement should trigger off alarm bells. It remains obvious that talking to children and knowing how they are feeling is always needed, as indeed it is for all human beings.Finally, talk of death, or preoccupation with suicide should always be taken seriously, and never dismissed as ‘attention seeking’.
What can parents/teachers do to help the children?
The best way to help is to listen. Listening with interest and empathy is a given for care giving and parenting.
Is there anything that can be done in schools and colleges to spread awareness about suicide?
Talking about it is always a good idea. The awareness of depressive disorders, the knowledge that this is not ‘malingering’ or ‘attention seeking’, the fact that it may be fine to seek help, and the fact that peers can help are certainly issues that can be talked about. In addition, talking about issues like bullying, peer pressure, academic stressors and family stressors will go a long way in helping.
Even if parents know something is wrong, they do not know what to do next. What is your advice to them?
Making professional and semi-professional support available is essential. Schools should have counsellors and help lines need to be created. Also, referral pathways to seek mental health intervention need to be clearly articulated.
