A prayer for understanding

The upcoming 5th Kerala Queer Parade is a display of solidarity from the LGBT community, which tells many tales of misunderstanding and indifference

July 23, 2014 07:04 pm | Updated 07:04 pm IST - Kochi

The Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgenders (LGBT) community members taking part in the first ever 'Queer Pride-2013' rally in Hyderabad. Photo: G. Ramakrishna

The Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgenders (LGBT) community members taking part in the first ever 'Queer Pride-2013' rally in Hyderabad. Photo: G. Ramakrishna

On July 13, I made my way to the Ernakulam Public Library in spite of the heavy downpour, in order to make it to the 3 p.m. screening of Prayers for Bobby . The screening was part of the promotion work for the 5th Kerala Queer Parade at Kochi that is set to take place on the July 26. This would be the 5th LGBT Pride March happening in Kerala. The march is being organised by the Queer Pride Keralam Group, which includes Queerala (a support group for the LGBT community, their friends and family) and Sahayathrika (a Human Rights Organisation for Lesbian and Bisexual women in Kerala) and others from the previous pride marches.

The venue was packed with various groups of people, all waiting outside for the movie to begin. When we were informed that the screening would be delayed due to a technical glitch, I decided to strike up a conversation with the others waiting for the screening to commence. Given the nature of the cause, the people attending this event were either supporters of the LGBT community or members of it.

I approached Jijo Kuriakose, who was one of the organising members of the Queer Parade. Born into an Orthodox Christian family, Jijo went through years’ worth of struggle to come to terms with his own identity. When he finally decided to come out of the closet, many of his friends from college and work removed him from their friends’ circle.

Lohit, who is still not very open about his sexuality, knew he had an affinity towards men from the age of 7. This only intensified as he reached his teenage. However, he felt like he was the only one. It was only after Class 10, when he finally gained access to the Internet, that he figured there were others like him out there. During the five years that he worked in Mumbai, he found that people outside Kerala were more accepting of homosexuals and that helped him build his confidence. He believes that, “Gay people are an easy target for ridicule,” and stressed on the need for a support system to provide the LGBT community with the help they need to ensure that they do not succumb to depression and take their lives. “They are already confused, when society also tries to ridicule them, it’s like a double impact,” he adds. He concludes by expressing his hopes that the Malayalam film industry would portray the LGBT community in more inclusive roles.

Shabari, on the other hand, did not face any problems when he came out to his colleagues. Most of his friends have migrated to other cities in India or abroad, but he chose to stay on in Kochi because he likes it here, and hopes that one day he could live with a partner legally in Kochi. Amidst all this, one of the members of Queerala (who hails from Kolkata), points out that people in Kochi are generally aware about homosexuality, but they do not understand it completely, or rather, they do not want to accept it.

For Syam (who is a bisexual), it has always been about whether or not you fit into the system, “You are supposed to be studious, get a good job and finally get married to someone your parents choose.” As far as he was concerned, there was no difference whether he was in a relationship with a woman or a man. His parents objected both times!

I also managed to talk to Ms. Deepa Vasudevan; an activist who started Sahayatrika. As a Malayali who grew up in Canada, Deepa was moved to start her organisation when she realised that there was no support mechanism for lesbian and bisexual women in Kerala. “Many LGBT people tend to migrate to other cities. And people living in Kochi tend to be more private,” she observed. Her organisation works by advertising in newspapers and has a helpline through which lesbian and bisexual women can contact them. Nonetheless, she confides that they routinely face sexual harassment even over the helpline “from men who think it’s an easy license to come onto them”, but they generally do not seek legal recourse due to society’s perception about the nature of their organisation.

Soon, it was time for the movie to begin. Based on a true story, Prayers for Bobby depicted the struggles of a mother who was forced to choose between her faith and her son who was a homosexual.

Almost everyone was left teary-eyed by the end of the movie. The Queer Pride Parade is set to commence at 2 p.m. on the July 26. Starting from High Court Junction, the participants of the pride will walk past Menaka, Ernakulam Jetty, St. Teresa’s College, Government Law College and Subhash Park to finally reach Rajendra Maidan.

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