The past, especially childhood and adolescence, was for Dr. Gokulan Anjilivelil dark scratches on a forgettable past. The third child of six children, his parents lacked education and the financial stability to keep the family going. Childhood was unpleasant and he dreaded school.
He had all sorts of complexes, from inferiority to insecurity. He very often fell to the bottom of his class and became an object of ridicule. Mathematics was a nightmare and some of his teachers only added to that scare.
The poverty of his childhood and the difficult times steeled Gokulan. Something seemed to drive him. The Chronicle Of My Struggle , is Gokulan’s story of a hidden force that changed him from a bundle of complexes to a confident, successful medical practitioner. It is a scroll of memories of the challenges, obstacles, moments of joy that he experienced in the course of achieving his biggest dream – Membership of the Royal College of Physicians (MRCP), United Kingdom.
“I have not really dwelled deep into my childhood. Of course, there is mention of T.P. Swamy Sir, a Coconut Development Board official who used to take part-time tuitions in Maths. He proved to be the change maker in my life. He exorcised the fear of the subject and instilled confidence in me. I was an underachiever in school but did well to gain admission to the College of Engineering in Thiruvananthapuram. And then switched to Medicine,” says Gokulan, who is now a senior paediatrician in Sharjah.
The book is a record of Gokulan’s life after his switch to Medicine and the struggles to realise his dreams. After his MBBS, and a diploma in Child Health (DCh) Gokulan began practicing at Tirur, Malappuram. “Here, I was enveloped by a feeling of incompleteness. And, once, scribbling on a paper I wrote down my name, my degrees with MRCP at the end. It was then more of a fantasy, something youngsters harbour at that stage of their life.”
With no one to support or discuss, with the MRCP idea needing a lot of money too, Gokulan decided to take life and his dreams step-by-step. This forms what could be termed the first part of the book. Gokulan’s experiences in Malaysia as a contract medical officer, his marriage, short tenures at KEM, Mumbai and CMC, Vellore, and above all saving money to make the trip to the UK.
The rest of the book is about his journey to London, enduring the many gaffes, the indifferent Indian contact who leaves him alone in a house at East Ham, hungry, refuses to lend him money despite assuring to return it when he enchases his demand draft, preparing for the exams in the chill and an empty stomach, and contracting chicken pox.
“I survived on a diet of bread and water and sometimes peanut butter. And it still remains my staple diet. There were some silver linings, like meeting up with some very good people, kind, generous like Dr. William Fraser Alexander of Newcastle General Hospital where I did my clinical attachment that put me at ease in the new environs and then there was Ewa. She was Polish an a specialist registrar working under Dr. Alexander who invited me to their house so many times, even gifted me with a sweater. It was almost as if she had sensed my difficulties. Even today I wish her for every New Year.”
Miracles, that never seemed possible to happen in Gokulan’s life, did happen. After wading through snow and struggling to pull himself into Kirkcaldy Hospital, Scotland, for his clinical examinations, he along with other candidates was asked to attend the viva session at the Edinburgh Royal College.
“I knew this was going to happen for my return ticket was for the day after the viva and I was sure I would not make it to the airport on time. And I was in for a surprise when my request to have my viva that same evening was accepted.”
But perhaps the best news came three weeks after Gokulan returned, a letter from the Royal College of Pediatrics and Child Health, London, announcing the realisation of a long cherished dream.
“I never kept a diary but the memories remain fresh. There was no intention to write this book till some of my friends who knew the story of my life urged me to jot it down. In fact, it was E.P. Sreekumar, noted Malayalam novelist and short story writer, who encouraged me to go ahead. My working knowledge of English was a drawback but a few people including my sons, Jayaram and Sriram, worked on the rough draft to make it what it is. And of course, I would not be here if it had not been for my wife, Jayasree, who shared my dreams and also pledged what little gold she had to fund my trip to London,” adds Gokulan.
