Graduating, relocating for a job or for love, there often comes a point when one can no longer just go to college or work, cross the street or grab a coffee after work to see one’s friends. Although promises to stay in touch are made in earnest, when friends move away, it's often hard to stay connected with them as we get caught up with our lives.
Far from the days of penning letters or cutting calls short because of sky-high costs, the Internet has opened a new world to stay in touch at the click of a button.
It perhaps began with the e-mail, a step up from ‘par avion’. And when social networking sites were introduced, almost everyone had a profile on either one or more of the sites.
“I did my schooling in Dubai. When I came down to India to pursue my higher studies, I had to leave many of my close friends behind. Initially, we stayed in touch through letters, but laziness in writing a letter and the fact that it took so long to get a reply, took a toll on our enthusiasm to keep ourselves updated about each other’s lives. I lost touch with some of them over time,” says kindergarten teacher Smitha Joseph.
Even after e-mails came into the picture, Smitha says she couldn’t reconnect as she didn’t have their e-mail addresses. Facebook, she says, was a boon.
“I managed to get in touch with friends I haven’t heard from in years, by just looking them up by their names. Recently, a friend of mine, who I was last in touch with 18 years ago, sent me a friend request. It is easy for me to keep up to date with what my friends are up to and vice versa through the site.”
The beauty of social networking sites says Hannnah Sanala Mathew, assistant professor of English, Mar Baselios College, is that it can help you connect with your friends who are spread across the globe. And although she stays in touch with her friends on such sites, Hannah says she prefers sending “old fashioned e-mails and just like a letter, I can take my time to pen my thoughts.”
Virtual hangouts Despite his two close friends being in Paris and Tokyo respectively, city-based software engineer Sherri Chandran still hangs out with his friends virtually via Google Plus Hangout.
So does Jeremy D’ Souza a student of The School of the Good Shepherd. Jeremy stays in touch with some of his friends who have moved abroad through Skype.
“International phone calls are expensive. With Skype, I can make high-quality audio and video calls to my friends. Not only can I see my friends, I can also hear their voices. We can make fun of each other’s new haircut, share jokes, our angst…As it’s a free call provider, I can chat for hours,” says Jeremy.
With mobile messenger services such as Whatsapp and more recently Hike in the market, it’s easy to stay in touch through both individual, and group chats.
Software consultant Srividhya N. stays in touch with her school friends through Whatsapp. “It’s nice to be a part of the group as we often walk down memory lane, keep each other updated on the latest happenings in our lives, pull each other’s leg…,” she says.
However, despite the advancement in technology, there are a few like homemakers Hannah Jones and Vineetha Suneeth who prefer sending and receiving letters through snail mail.
Instead of e-greetings, they prefer sending birthday cards in the mail. And instead of virtual hangouts, they prefer keeping some time apart to chill out with friends when they come down on holidays.
Says Hannah: “At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter how you stay in touch with your friends. What’s important is that you do. Friends are family you choose for yourselves. They are people who know your true colours and accept you for who you are. And although, you make new friends daily, it is important to stay in touch with old ones too.”
