Grooming little ‘wonders’

Of babies and wonder kids

August 22, 2014 07:41 pm | Updated November 17, 2021 12:05 pm IST - Thiruvananthapuram

Illustration: sreejith. r.kumar

Illustration: sreejith. r.kumar

I attended a function in connection with the birth of a baby and what did I see? A baby with no war paint on its face – a baby that actually looked like a baby and not like a Kathakali artiste with eyebrows drawn thickly and dark kohl lining its eyes and spilling over. Often, for added effect, the baby of the past would also have rubbed its eyes vigorously to take on raccoonish overtones as if to say defiantly, ‘if you want me to look spectacular, let’s go the whole hog.’ One look at it and its older siblings would shudder in fear and swallow their vegetables without further ado. I was pleasantly surprised to observe that the terrible beauty that was born, sorry, made, had miraculously reverted to its normal, unembellished form. ‘How come?’ I asked.

Ah, you seem to be completely out of sync with what’s been happening in the baby world, I was told. The use of kajal or any cosmetics is taboo now. The only concession to beautification or conversely, to uglification, if one may use such a word, so that no evil eye is cast, is a black spot on its chin, also called ‘beauty spot.’ No powder? What’s happened to the good old powder? How will a baby smell if it can’t smell of baby powder? Or how will baby powder smell if it can’t smell of baby? The two were inseparable.

I remember the number of powder tins we got when my son was born that kept us going for a long time. Why has powder suddenly gone from hero to villain? Chemicals, I was told. Besides, it is abrasive. Not good at all for a baby’s delicate skin. Well, well, hasn't the discovery come way too late, after millions of babies had powdered their way to healthy childhood and adulthood?

Strange, that on the one hand, babies should be protected from chemicals in this manner while on the other, they are caked with make up when they are just a little older and driven to perform under arc lights in shows that would turn them into precocious wonder kids. Age no bar these days for there are reality shows that feature even three-month-old babies.

Here is my modest proposal - surely it makes better sense to apply powder and cream on the baby when it is a new born so that its tender skin gets used to the chemicals? After all it will need cosmetics when it is time to get under the spotlight. What if the sudden use of makeup on virgin skin causes the kid to develop an allergy just before the shoot? What would that do to the ambitious plans of its parents?

I vividly recall a little girl slip a card into my hand at the tailor’s a couple of years back. It said, ‘Vote for...’ Smart little kid, I thought, campaigning for her parent. And a novel idea too. But it wasn't election time. I took a closer look at the card and discovered it carried a request for an SMS vote that would win her points in the race for the prize at some TV show. Oops!

Babies are no longer born to blush and gurgle unseen; young children are not children any more. They aren't allowed that luxury, being under their parents’ anxious scanner 24/7 for signs that display their precocity. Why don’t we let children be? A doodling child is hailed as a Picasso in the making and an exhibition of his drawings held. If a child likes writing, his helicopter parents quickly put his scribblings together and get them published, if he hums while taking a bath, his eager mother gets him trained to become a singing sensation, if he imitates his teacher, his innate acting skills are recognised and he is sent to an acting school...

What we want are spontaneous, playful and carefree children and what we get are cocky, pocket edition models, beauty contest and reality show winners, singers, musicians, dancers, TV anchors, actors, writers, painters, entrepreneurs, even chefs, all of them in constant and unhealthy competition with their peers. A friend asked, ‘Do children of today get born as adults?’ Looks like they do. The child has become, in much more than in the Wordsworthian sense, the father of man.

I’m waiting for the day when babies win contests while still in the womb.

[khyrubutter@yahoo.com]

(A fortnightly column by the city-based writer, academic and author of the Butterfingers series)

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