In search of a suitable spouse

May 08, 2011 04:52 pm | Updated August 22, 2016 04:10 pm IST

An Indian couple holds each other's hands as part of marriage rituals at a mass marriage in Ahmadabad, India, Friday, May 6, 2011.Friday marked "Akshay Tritiya," a summer festival believed to be auspicious for weddings.(AP Photo/Ajit Solanki)

An Indian couple holds each other's hands as part of marriage rituals at a mass marriage in Ahmadabad, India, Friday, May 6, 2011.Friday marked "Akshay Tritiya," a summer festival believed to be auspicious for weddings.(AP Photo/Ajit Solanki)

Moms sail through the colic- mumps- measles phase of their offspring without much ado. When the progeny is at school or college, it is exam blues, teenage hassles and generation gap hitches. When they start working, the pressures of professional life crop up. Mom is witness to all this; she deals with it with stoic calm. But, when she is entrusted to find a bride/groom for them, she is at sea!

Making the right choice or the most suitable one is often confusing. Especially when she is conferred the role of a match maker- by the progeny himself.

“It's better to wait for the right match, or you'll have to see tsunami.” quip friends. Today, newly weds have no qualms about calling it quits at the slightest tiff. There is no attempt to work on a marital relationship and make it blossom.

Marriage brokers

Gone are the days of the joint family, where aunts and uncles regarded match making their birthright. There was grandma's brigade and relatives too who pursued it as a hobby. Not to mention the marriage brokers who had the C.V. of every prospective groom and bride in the locality, at their fingertips. There was always some one in the family who knew someone in either of the families. Now days, more matches are fixed by the couple themselves or on the pitch perhaps!

Things were much simpler then muses mom. “In the present scenario, it would be so much easier, if sonny fell in love.” Mom would have wholeheartedly accepted the girl who won his heart. But sonny feels he cannot say I DO to any of his buddies. He opines, “I even know what they had for breakfast through Facebook. I know them too well. It is better, if you find someone for me.” So mom is all geared up with her alliance search; diligently practising tips from seasoned moms like spreading the word around, polishing her PR skills and registering at matrimonial bureaus. She has even met some souls on a similar search trail and become their pal. And she now reads more matrimonial classifieds columns than news paper headlines! But the bride, oh! She remains elusive!

When the profiles match, the horoscopes don't tally or the families won't vibe. When the horoscopes tally and the families know each other, the girl is in love with someone and is planning to elope. Or when she looks like Deepika Padukone from certain angles, sonny wants some one like the girl down the road. Mom would have even consented for that match. But she is older than him with two kids. And her husband works as a bouncer. Oh! There is always a missing link! But mom knows there is no shortcut to success. She is a diehard fan of King Bruce and the spider story. Meanwhile, she has been collecting horoscopes ,answering queries and consulting the astrologer.

When matches are fixed by parents, tally of horoscope is an absolute must. Parents maintain double standards; they state that they do not believe in such norms. But are not willing to go against them when it comes to their own. In love matches, all factors are waived because love is after all blind!

In Cyberspace

Mom has realised the need to be computer savvy. When one registers at matrimonial portals one requires certain online expertise. To view the multitude of profiles, to refine one's search according to keywords or to send, receive and decline messages and interests. To peek who has viewed your telephone number or search for profiles of look-alikes of favourite movie stars. Options are a plenty. “Will I be able to handle the mouse like a kitten?”, worries Mom

There is a way out for her. She need not go through the computer class hassle. At a stage when she forgets her keys. It's entrée- The Relationship Manager of Matrimonial portals. A manager to manage marriage relations- oops before marriage. A marriage broker in a new avatar. It's the Relationship Manager. She has the skill to search for your choice profiles, initiate contacts with parents and be the intermediary between the two families. She tries to strike a deal within the allotted time span. But she comes at a price. That's premium membership!

Mom is now muddled. Should she trudge the lonely path of the bridal search or assign it to the Relationship Manager. And go to sleep?

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