“Entering the workforce can sometimes be tough but nothing infuriates the competition more than to see the person they are trying to bully, thrive.” Aparna Jain’s latest book, Own It is filled with such words of wisdom on leadership lessons for women, from women who’ve been tenacious, ambitious and fought a tough battle to excel in their careers. Little wonder, then, that the book has been flying off the shelves and has even gone into re-print.
On a summery Monday morning, Aparna arrives before time for the interview at Koshy’s. The confidence that each word exudes in her book, is exactly what she is in person: practical, calling out discrimination and bullying with experiences, facts and studies. “When I was coaching clients, women came with the similar complaints: bullying at the workplace, difficult situations at home, stress of being a mom, and feeling beaten down at the workplace,” says the CEO of Zebraa Works. Aparna knows quite bit about leadership, and how patriarchy and bias are prevalent in overt and covert ways. “There’s a pattern women experience at the corporate workplace. I thought why not write about it? There’s Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, why don’t we write about this issue within the Indian cultural context? Only we understand the situation of in-laws and we also have caste politics. All of these come about very subtly.”
While some testimonials are inspiring, there are others that are disturbing. For urban, working women both kinds of stories resonate. In some cases, women have done extremely well in the corporate sector, but due to harassment in some form or another, they decided to quit, some of them eventually went onto build start-ups. But is quitting always an option?
“I believe you should not stay in a toxic environment if the situation is very bad. But women tend to give up easily. We quit because we think it’s easier to stay home. It’s a power game. The company comes before the person. They’ll think about the larger corporation than you.”
She also suggests in her book, citing from a testimonial, to use patriarchy to beat patriarchy. But doesn’t that maintain the status quo? “Some will not subscribe to patriarchy. I support them. We need both kinds. When you are being bullied, have no emotion and just ask questions. When you criticise a woman, she takes it to heart, because we are so used to being perfect. We’re always prim and proper. We have to be like that piece of crystal. Are we ever taught to get our hands dirty?”
She says there are ways to handle situations where you are being bullied and discriminated against.
“Everybody can make a change, no matter how young or old you are. You can slowly and steadily make changes. You have to use the same strategy to handle a bad boss as a bad mother-in-law. You have to fight the battle using a clever mix of aggression and silence: half Gandhi like and half Indira Gandhi like.”
The book, though, makes it clear that not all women are victims, and not all men are the problem. There is a delightful chapter ‘The Women Impedimenta’, which has practical, workable solutions that empower women. “Own It: Be proud of what you are,” signs off Aparna.
Own It is a Collins Business publication, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.
