* Being a diva isn't easy. It comes naturally to most people. And, wannabe divas, here's what you do. First of all, work on your body composition. Most bodies are made up of roughly 70 per cent water and 30 per cent mass. But yours should be 50 per cent narcissistic attitude, 30 per cent self-consciousness and 20 per cent tantrums. Be dressed to kill every time. At all times have lip gloss on, accompanied by trendy accessories and stilettos, even if you are heading to the beach. Your cellphone, too, should be dressed in bling.
* Your posture and how you hold yourself is of vital importance. Don't slouch; oh, and please tuck that tummy in. Now, stand in front of a mirror and practise. Hold your head high and chin up. Walk like a cat with a gentle sway of the hips. To train yourself, watch numerous videos on YouTube. And when you laugh, don't snort or be high-pitched. If something is really funny, go into the wash room and giggle your heart out. But in public, just restrict it to a delicate ‘Ha Ha Ha', and as you do so, gently throw your head back.
* Refuse to do things on your own. What are the people around for? It's easier to pull it off with members of the opposite sex. Pout, part your lips a little and then, in a lazy tone say, “Darling could you hold my hand bag for me?” Or, “Oops, I dropped my phone. Honey, could you pick that up for me?” Have excuses ready. Say you can't do things because your nails will break. And, if that doesn't work, whine, kick up a fuss and complain about how hard life is!
* At social events, always ensure people walk up to you first and greet you. The front row seats should be reserved for you. While interacting with your followers (yes, believe that everybody around is a fan of yours), talk in hushed tones. Lean a bit as you talk and maintain a sort of limp wrist and flick it around at regular intervals. Never show that you are really interested in them, even if you are. At restaurants, send the food back. Dismiss it as average.
* Remember, it's always about you. The others are insignificant. You know you have succeeded in being a diva if people are talking behind your back. Take that as a compliment. They always complain when they can't be as fabulous as you, darling!
