Dr. Brené Brown’s eminently readable book The Gifts of Imperfection wakes me up to the lie that I have often lived. She says, “Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are.” I have for long wanted to be a film actor. I have been called for many auditions and I tell friends when I have been to an audition. Yet, when they ask me later if I have secured the role, I pretend that it does not matter much. Once when asked, “Are you excited about getting the role,” I shrugged it off and said, “It’s no big deal.” Of course in reality, I was praying that it would happen.
It is only recently that I have come to realise that playing down what I deeply desire minimises the joy when it happens; it also doesn’t take away the pain when it doesn’t happen. When I diminish the importance of something I treasure and value, I become inauthentic.
In telling others, I am actually telling myself that I truly want something and if it doesn’t happen I will feel disappointed. If I so acknowledge to others and self, I am then able to cope better, for I am honest, genuine, sincere, true to myself and thus appreciate my humaneness.
(The writer is an organisational and behavioural consultant. He can be contacted at ttsrinath@vsnl.net)
