I was born cross-eyed and have a squeaky voice. In those days, forty years back, my eye condition could not be corrected. I am used to being called ‘Look London See Paris’. A big thing that went in my favour was my father’s wealth. Despite my condition I found proposals coming from men. I knew it was my inheritance that attracted them and I knew it would be that all my life. Nobody would love ‘Look London See Paris’. So I braced myself for a loveless marriage and life.
My husband was a pragmatic chap. Right at the start, he said that he would be a husband only in name but would give me all the respect a wife deserves. And that he would keep a mistress. “If that is good with you we can make ours a happy marriage,” he said. I agreed to it because I like rationality. I had already come to terms with the fact that love from a husband would never be there; just like a case of where you cannot look into each other’s eyes. I had given up that dream which warms the hearts of young women.
My husband’s paramour was a reasonably good-looking girl. I liked her professionalism. She respected me. We went on like this for years until I had an unusual request from my husband. He yearned for a child. When my child was born, his mistress left him. She was heartbroken. The child gave unimaginable joy to my husband. He seemed to not miss his paramour. “Only a wife can bear a child,” he told her when she threw a tantrum and felt reduced in position.
After two years she reappeared in my house. She came to meet me with a request. Could I bear another child and give it to her? Medically she could not conceive and once she had this baby she said that she would disappear from our lives forever. It was again a rational give and take. I said I would ask my husband. He gave it some thought and reasoned that he would repay her services like this. I bore another child and gave it away to her; she grateful, my husband thankful and I relieved that each one of us had played our part justly and with respect.
We had all kept our word and pact, unknown to the outside world. But was there any love in all this at any point, I often ask myself.
Today we are old and a happy family of five. The latest medical advancements have improved my voice and set my eyes quite right. My husband says my eyes are now almond shaped. I tell my granddaughter that almonds are symbols of love.
