The first time I lied about my age was just after I celebrated my 50th birthday. I don’t know why, but I refuse to accept the fact that I am over fifty years old. I convince myself that it is a woman thing, but sometimes I do feel guilty, especially on occasions when I appear to let down my loved ones and cause them embarrassment because of this trait of mine.
Sometimes, I also know I am taking it a bit too far, but I am unable to help it. Like when my husband booked a train ticket in which my true age was printed. When I saw that, I raised such a ruckus and rebuked him no end. I went on to display my disappointment with him for at least the next 30 minutes. Fortunately, he kept his cool and assured me that he would be more careful the next time.
Then, when my husband celebrated his 60th birthday and became eligible for the senior citizen discount offered by the Railways, I realised that I only had two options — one, to insist on my husband claiming to be only 52 or 54 years old and forgo the senior citizen discount so that I could continue to be 44 for a few more years, or let him state his correct age and increase my claimed age to say, 46 or 48. This time, the money that we could save on the discounts came into play and I chose the second option. As long as I did not project myself as 50 plus, I was happy. However, this practice was only for booking railway tickets. When it came to everything else, I always insisted that my husband mention his age as 53 or 54 and my reasoning behind this was that if my husband gave his correct age and I claimed to be 44, the age difference between us would give me away.
He keeps telling me that this habit could land me in serious trouble and I too am fully aware but I am just not able to get myself to reveal my true age. I feel most guilty when my husband or I visit the doctor. At the reception, when one of us is asked the age, I hate myself for lying but do so, and also embarrass my husband by insisting that he does the same.
Fortunately for us, we look younger than our age, and so, we are able to get away. This is a fact because both of us maintain a healthy lifestyle, and even today, some of our good friends or relatives who meet us after a long time say that we look just like we did 10 years ago. To this day, I continue lying about my age and whenever I feel guilty about it, I seek solace by reminding myself that most women are like me or I recall quotes like ‘don’t ask a woman her age’ and convince myself that I am just being a normal human being.
I believe that someday, I will learn to age gracefully, and then, my age will just be a number which I would happily acknowledge.
