The New Year waits around the corner and one is inevitably drawn to a list of resolutions which is crafted with much care. If past experience is an indicator, then this year too this list will find its way to the last shelf in a cupboard where it will join its comrades of years gone by! The best kept secret seems to be that it is more fun to make a resolution than actually keep it! A friend wears a T-shirt that says, “I made a resolution this year not to make a resolution.” So instead of going down the beaten track of resolutions unresolved, inspired by connections with readers who have helped shape this column each week, here is a list of ways to connect, renew and celebrate the year gone by and in the process allow the resolutions for the coming months to evolve on their own.
The power of nowA phrase from guide and teacher Eckhart Tolle, “the power of now” in its simplest essence means that we stop and really be with what is happening ‘now’. The pictures in the rear view mirror are hazy and coloured by our own perceptions and prejudices that alter with time. The vision we have of what will happen in future is not in our control. The only thing we can do is to stop the chase and just be with the moment. This is often not as easy as it sounds but it is very powerful. Especially on the days when you feel like you are juggling so many hats — you've missed your bus, your assignment is half done and you feel swamped by the avalanche of things to do. It is a great way to recharge and connect with yourself. Start with the now.
RAK (Random Acts of Kindness)Once in a while, indulge in a completely random act of kindness. This can come in the smallest of actions, and each of us has countless opportunities every day to practise this higher aspect of ourselves. Listening to a friend in need (without interrupting to give solutions or trying to fix their life), offering helpers at home a hot cup of coffee (the emphasis on hot) before they start their day and sometimes just taking out time to be kinder to ourselves and asking that critical voice in our heads to quieten down. Each of us is doing the best we can in whatever we do, and to quietly appreciate that is a gift that is priceless! After all, only when we are filled with kindness can we give it to others.
Redefining terms commonly usedMention unconditional love and students would groan. It seems like something so difficult and only reserved for the likes of Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa who lived their lives on the principle of unconditional love. Many spiritual teachers and guides ask us to explore what unconditional love means in our daily lives. It means that we accept ourselves and others completely as they are without trying to change them. Sometimes, in our relentless desire to change people or ourselves, we don’t realise that we are pushing them further away from us or making ourselves bitter about our own nature. It is a most curious phenomenon; when we accept people as they are and quietly demonstrate those aspects of them that we wish to change, they transform. That transformation is far more powerful than trying to change people into being the version of what we think they should be.
World eventsWe are living in an age where we are constantly bombarded by images, and, often disturbing news, of violence. The recent incident of terrorist brutality and violence in a school disturbed and shook the very foundations of faith. The world suddenly became a constricted space of fear and anxiety. In a show of solidarity, many schools held two-minute silences or prayer meetings and there was an outpouring of compassion to the families of the slain. We do not have control over events, but what we can keep a watch on is the violence in our own thoughts and dealings with people. We can see how we label people, communities and nations, colouring it with our own prejudice. We see how our own thoughts shield us from really being there for someone in need. “Cradle your anger like a baby, gently,” a monk advises. It means that we accept this side of us and slowly see that our anger is the result of thoughts and the attachment we have with those ideas. It is a slow process but a beautiful beginning. In many ways isn’t the violence in the external world a projection of the violence inside us?
MagicWe often look for magic all over the place- in a new relationship, a change of job, acquiring a new gadget and once we reach that, after a while the magic of the experience wanes and we look for the next magical high. Once in a while, if we just look, we might find the magic we are searching for right within our reach, in the most ordinary of processes. In an acting workshop, we were introduced to a set of walking exercises that helped us enjoy the actual dynamics of walking. There was so much magic in just observing the breath and all the changes within the body. Around our homes, examples are plenty. The gardener who pulls out weeds in an almost meditative dance, the way the dosai seller down our street pours the batter and the sizzle on the pan as his artistry weaves the perfect butter dosai, an uninhibited loving welcome from a puppy after a long day’s work outside… when we see magic in the ordinary, there is zero expectation from people we meet or things we buy to constantly entertain us.
“Life is what happens when we are busy making plans,” said a famous Beatle. So, let’s put aside our well-laid plans for a while and just smile.
As I write this, the silent black-inked midnight sky is filled with a canvas of twinkling stars and one can only sense the wonder and mystery of life itself.
Wishing all the readers a joyous year ahead.
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