A pink heart-shaped balloon floats in the blue sky. An advertisement promises us a kiss if our clothes are brighter. A parent and child exchange a quick hug before alighting a school bus. Two best friends in a heated argument break out into spontaneous laughter. A blood-red hibiscus grows its way through a pile of concrete rubble.
The images of love and its various manifestations greet us on a daily basis. Without exaggeration, there is not a single day when we are not touched by its power. Just like its nature, love can be vast or minuscule depending on how one defines it. Living with a dog is a daily reminder of the power of this force that makes the world goes around.
Dogs show us, in countless ways, the simplicity behind the complex phenomenon known as love.
Jurra’s storyJurra is an eight-month-old golden Labrador dog and one might suspect that she has never contemplated love and its definitions. (It is, of course, a human obsession!)
Jurra is love — meaning that her whole way of looking at the world is from a very different point of view. There are no expectations of what love is, how it should be and how one must behave when expressing it. Her love is rooted in what is happening at present — she carries no past history and no sense of future expectations.
Everything that comes into her field of vision is met with certain clarity, and she responds to what comes her way with a natural ease. A butterfly sunning itself is tickled by her nose, and her tail wagging in great momentum means she has seen her favourite people. Biologists call this instinct. We call it love undefined!
ExpectationsOne of the characteristics of human love in various relationships is that it is based on expectations.
If we observe the countless ways in which our love manifests, there is always an undercurrent of wanting something. While in some relationships, this is glaringly obvious; in others it is more subtle. When a relationship collapses or is in conflict, it is normally that either person is unwilling to let go of a need that they seek in the other. In fact, when students often come and tell me that they “hate” someone, we have a discussion and they inevitably realise that what they hate is something that they are totally in love with.
Very few beings can love unconditionally, but Jurra’s expression of love is just that. She is totally immune to what you are wearing, how you are looking, body shape and size or whether you have had a bad hair day! The joy with which she greets you can make the surliest among us break into an inner smile. Jurra, in that moment of expressing her love, is not thinking of herself. It is very difficult to understand the nature of unconditional love unless one has really experienced it. A student of mine had a severe reading difficulty, and this often clouded her sense of confidence. One summer holiday, she visited her grandparents who had a dog. Through the course of the month, a friendship developed and both would spend a lot of time together.
One afternoon, the family was surprised to hear her reading aloud to the dog. Her reading still had errors but there was a new-found confidence in the reading. When asked about it, she said candidly, “Oh, Juno does not judge me, she just listens.” There are countless stories of how animals and humans have bonded over this kind of unconditional love. How and why it transpires will remain a mystery in the nature of things.
DimensionsOne of the common misconceptions about the nature of love is that it excludes any discomfort. We expect love to be always pleasant and wrap us in a bubble of coziness.But love has other dimensions to it. Sometimes, love can be tough and seem unfair as it challenges us to face pain and step out of our comfort zone.
A friend who was caught up in a hectic life, found herself in a situation where she had to be home bound to nurse her ailing dog. The dog had developed a cancerous growth and needed a lot of nursing and healing. For someone who had never faced such an unpleasant task that demanded her time and courage, she said it was a lesson in understanding the depths of her own reservoir of love. Something inside her had transformed, and just caring for one who had no voice changed the way she viewed people and life. Each day, Jurra shows us a part of ourselves that we did not know existed. She, of course, is blissfully unaware, and at the time of writing this, has just brought a coconut from the garden as a gift offering.
Maybe we need to talk less about love and live it a little more. Something my best friend teaches me every moment, an ever expanding curriculum on the nature of love!
To share your ideas and comments, write to lifeplus590@gmail.com
