The idea was to use Puraani Jeans as a simile but they’ve ended up with a metaphor.

If the makers wanted to say that friendship is like old jeans (the longer it lasts, the more comfortable you get), they have ended up making a film with a worn-out plot, a story full of holes, faded stars at their career worst, treatment that went out of fashion a couple of decades ago and an overall dullness in the way it looks.

How do you establish friendship in a Hindi film? Well, the bunch of friends need to sing a song together that includes all of them jumping into a lake. Rang De Basanti, Rock On, Kai Po Che…

What keeps the gang of friends together? Their love for music, they have to be part of a band, one has to be the poet and the other the showman. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Rock On, Pyaar Main Kabhi Kabhi

What leads to a rift and heartbreak? The girl in the triangular love story, of course. Saagar, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, Saajan…

The only thing that can make these worn-out clichés worse is how it plays out — the direction is noteworthy for the fact that it makes not just the new actors but even veterans including Sarika and Rajit Kapur look like amateurs (Both of them play it loud, looking completely uninterested).

While Aditya Seal looks like the love child of Neil Nitin Mukesh and Akshaye Khanna (with the acting chops of the former and the permanent pout-face of the latter), Tanuj Virwani is Ashmit Patel and Suniel Shetty rolled into one (with the looks of the former and the acting chops of the latter). Isabelle Leite looks every bit the Katrina Kaif successor — foreigner with a presence so electric that it doesn’t matter that she cannot act.

Fast music, lines said in a hurry, and energy in screaming ‘Friends Forever’ every few minutes do not translate into pace.

The film takes half its running time to get to the point of the predictable heartbreak. It goes further downhill post-interval, with very little left to find out.

But the only thing we want to know is this: Why would the makers rehash scenes done so many times and way much better before?

And the craft just tells us one thing: Puraani Jeans, your fly is open.

Genre: Drama

Director: Tanushri Chattrji Bassu

Cast: Tanuj Virwani, Aditya Seal, Isabelle Leite, Sarika, Rati Agnihotri, Rajit Kapur

Storyline: A bunch of friends, a love triangle and the inevitable heartbreak

Bottomline: Jeans so low that you can see the crack. Look away.