So here I am, lying down and typing this out after a few painkillers. After suffering a right calf muscle spasm, I’m advised bed rest. Well-wishers are more fascinated about the fact that I have some kind of muscle, than in my well-being. Well. Oh, this is a music column. Forgot.
So here goes. In bed, I have this crazy idea to try out a music app. So many of them floating around these days, most with brand names that have no connection with music. There’s Saavn, Wynk, Hungama. But which songs should I listen to?
Apparently, the The biggest hit today is ‘Move Your Lakk’ by someone called Badshah. This is what the lyrics sounded to me: “ If you lookah bebey, if you lookah bebey, saari raat se mawning takka bebey .” Hai Rabba!
Automatically, ‘Mera Highway Star’ by Tulsi Kumar begins to play soon after. Thankfully, it’s not a desi version of Deep Purple’s track of the same name. But check out these lines — “ Kyun tu mujhko wait kar aaye, kyon na tu decide karen .” Sahir Ludhianvi Saab, aapka kya khayal hai ? Next ‘Naughty Billo’ by Nakash Aziz came on. It’s a terrible version of Mohammed Rafi and S Balbir’s track ‘Main Jhooth Boliya Koina’ from the Raj Kapoor film Jagte Raho (1956).
Anyway, the Bollywood section continued and Begum Jaan’ s music started playing. A relief of sorts. But a little advice. Anu Malik, your compositions and arrangements are great, but your choice of singers, irrespective of fame or name, have been wrong for this film’s music. For instance, ‘ Azaadiyan ’ needed more robust voices than Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Sonu Nigam. And ‘ Prem Mein Tohre ’ sounds like a pale shadow of Asha Tai’s Umrao Jaan genius. And Kavita Seth, in the alternate version, tries to sound like Abida Parveen when she could have just tried to be herself. But the track is wonderfully orchestrated nonetheless. ‘ Murshida ’, going by the lyrics, is about separation. And Arijit Singh makes it sound like a peppy club song. Of course Arijit has murdered the Mukesh version of ‘ Yeh Subah Kabhi ’ from Phir Subah Hogi (1958). Even Ghoshal couldn’t save the song. Why kill masterpieces that don’t fit your timbre or tone?
By now, I quite like discovering music on the apps, but I fidget around and make one stupid mistake. I don’t how but these lyrics interrupt my Bollywood listening: “When you try your best but you don’t succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need.” Damn, how did Coldplay suddenly come in?
In the English section Ed Sheeran’s ‘Photograph’ is popular along with The Chainsmokers, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé and even Nicki Minaj! I listen to some rock like Korn, Metallica, Pearl Jam. Good old Rolling Stones and Queen.
But Coldplay’s ‘Fix You’ keeps making a sporadic appearance. Can you fix my leg, Chris Martin? Suddenly, then I stumble on the new James Blunt album The Afterlove . I had loved every song of his début effort Back To Bedlam about 12 years ago. This one is nice, but Blunt-ly speaking James, you need to move on.
Anyway, in this entire day of app-surfing, I’m yet to find a great new song. But my luck changes when I encounter the music of Naam Shabana . Two songs by two of the best Hindi female playback voices: ‘Rozana’ by Ghoshal and ‘Zinda’ by Sunidhi Chauhan. Unfortunately, the other songs of the film are lousy including a disastrous version of Bappi Lahiri’s ‘ Zubi Zubi ’. Dil doobi .
Thankfully, I didn’t find any Honey Singh. Yo yo! Back to my medicines with ‘ Rozanna ’ on loop. Sadly Coldplay keeps trying to fix me and my calf has turned ‘yellow’. My lakka bebey.
