Ten things grandparents say that you must take with a pinch of salt.
( Question: Why salt? Why not oregano? Or turmeric? Or garam masala ?)
One of the best things about summer vacations (other than the whole no school thing) is that my grandparents visit. Grandparents are awesome. Mine arrive with boxes of home-made sweets, presents and loads of patience. There is a never ending supply of laddoos and mango milkshakes, thanks to my grandmother. And with my grandfather, there’s always someone to play corridor cricket with who WON’T start crying that it’s their turn to bat after two deliveries (you know who I’m talking about right?)
Grandparents let you stay up late, watch TV and tell you the best stories. But in return, they expect you to believe anything and everything they say. Here are some examples:
1. If you keep doing that to your eyes, then they will get stuck and stay like that forever.
2. Stop making faces at your brother. If the wind changes you will look like that forever.
3. You children today keep losing your things all the time. Did you know when I was in school I used the same pencil and eraser for six years? SIX YEARS!
4. God loves you. He is always watching over you. But if you do a bad thing, he will poke your eyes. (That doesn’t seem so loving! Just saying.)
5. Don’t open your mouth and talk without brushing your teeth. Small, invisible insects flying in the air will die, and then you will be responsible for the death of another being.
A bit too far-fetched
6. Eat all the lady’s fingers on your plate, then you will get centum in maths. (I hate to be the one to tell her, but all the lady’s fingers in the world isn’t going to help me with math.)
7. Cut your hair on the next Thursday after 10 a.m. Then it will be long and silky (But I’m not Rapunzel!)
8. If you don’t visit the bathroom before you go to sleep, you will have bad dreams.
9. When I was your age, I lost one of my chappals and my father didn’t buy me another pair till the next year. I went to school with just one chappal for six months.
10. Your mother ALWAYS listened to what we told her to do. She never once disobeyed us. NOT ONCE. You should be like that too. (Even Amma rolls her eyes at this one.)
When I open my mouth to argue about what my grandparents are saying, they always have a laddoo or barfi to put into my mouth. By the time I’ve finished eating it, I’ve forgotten what I was going to say!
