Hello! This is Bug Boy’s brother writing this week. Bug Boy couldn’t make it, because he’s locked in the bathroom right now. So, I thought I’d step in and help out.
Since I have the chance, there are a few things I’d like to set straight here. I know my brother has been saying all kinds of things about me in the newspapers, but guess what? It’s not all that fun living with him either. He always acts like he’s in charge, like he knows everything (but ask him what’s 563092920 - 2492893031 and he won’t know the answer) and he pretends like he has these super cool secrets that need to be written down in unbreakable code. (I know it’s unbreakable because I’ve tried.)
But the worst thing about having an older brother is having to follow all the same sports he does. One TV, one remote = one sport. Which means I have to watch IPL matches even though anyone with a brain knows that football is way better. But is anyone listening to me? NO! This summer, everyone is watching cricket, talking cricket and probably dreaming cricket too. And Bog Boy (get it?) is walking around like he’s an authority on the topic just because he took some fifth grader’s wicket in an inter-house cricket match. (But ask him who won the IPL in 1983 and he won’t know. (Ok, I just found out there was no IPL in 1983.)
Cricket crazy
So, for the past couple of weeks, our entire house has gone IPL cuckoo! When I say everyone, I mean Appa, Amma and K Aunty who makes our food and thinks Virat Kohli should act in movies, Amma says she doesn’t like team sports but prefers yoga. But, that isn’t a sport though. I mean, you can’t win an Olympic medal for it, can you?
So, three out of five people in the house are cricket crazy and one doesn’t care, and me — football fan for life — is stuck with them. K Aunty has been making cricket bat-shaped dosas , Appa has been wearing his lucky t-shirt that hasn’t been washed since India won the World Cup (gross), and my brother’s yelling at the TV, giving advice to Dhoni. My eyes are rolling so much, they hurt.
All I want is someone to kick a ball about with, but no one is free! I even tried doing a bicycle kick in front of the TV, but that made everyone miss a catch, and I got banned from the room.
OK, so maybe, my next move wasn’t the smartest one, but I kind of took the card out of the cable TV box and hid it somewhere. And I can’t remember where. When my brother found out, he was so angry I had to lock him in the bathroom. Don’t worry, I’ll let him out once he’s calmed down. Or is getting hungry. He’ll be back next week. Hopefully by then, I’ll be somewhere far away where he can’t do anything to me!
