Know your English

March 12, 2012 10:03 pm | Updated March 13, 2012 12:34 pm IST

“Hi!”

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise! Haven't seen you in a while. What brings you over?”

“I came to ask you if you would ... You don't look too good. Something wrong?”

“A really bad headache. Missed my caffeine window this morning, and it's ... ”

“Your caffeine window? What are you talking about?”

“The expression refers to the usual time you have your coffee. Or some drink that has caffeine in it.”

“And if you don't get your coffee at this particular time, you end up with a headache.”

“Exactly! When I was young, my cousin Devidas ensured that I never missed my caffeine window. The headache that followed made me very grumpy.”

“And I suppose Devidas didn't want to put up with a grumpy person.”

“I guess not. How was your physics test? Was it a walk in the park as you expected it to be?”

“A walk in the park? Never heard that expression before. Does it mean easy?”

“That's right! When you say that something was a walk in the park, you mean that it was not difficult at all. It posed no problems.”

“Well, the chemistry test was a walk in the park. But unfortunately, the physics test wasn't. It was tough.”

“Sorry to hear that. I finally got around to replacing the tap in the bathroom. I thought it would be difficult, but it was a walk in the park.”

“Some of the taps in my house need to be replaced as well. Can you do it?”

“Is that the reason you've come here?”

“No! I was planning on seeing a film. Was wondering if you'd like to come along.”

“Not with my headache, I'm afraid. Why don't you ask Bala?”

“Bala doesn't see movies.”

“What are you talking about? Bala is a cinephile.”

“Cinephile? Does it mean someone who is extremely fond of films?”

“Yes, that's right. Bala has always been a cinephile.”

“Like most cinephiles I know, Revathi sees at least two movies in a week.”

“How does she find the time? I mean, does she ... ”

“I have no idea. Another expression that has the same meaning as ‘cinephile' is ‘movie buff'. Am I right?”

“Absolutely. There are many movie buffs in my office. Which movie were you planning to see?”

“The one that is running in Nataraj. I understand that the new heroine in the film is eye candy.”

That's not what I heard. Several people in my office told me she is eye broccoli.”

“Eye what?”

“Broccoli. It's a vegetable that not many people are fond of. The first syllable rhymes with ‘rock' and ‘frock', and the ‘o' in the second syllable sounds like the ‘a' in 'china'. The word is usually pronounced ‘BRO-ke-li' with the stress on the first syllable. Some people pronounce it ‘BROK-li'.”

“But what does the expression ‘eye broccoli' mean?”

“It means not very god looking. Unattractive. According to Vinod, most of the new heroines are eye broccoli.”

“Just shows that Vinod is getting old.”

******

“My mother's menu consisted of two choices — take it or leave it.”Buddy Hackett

upendrankye@gmail.com

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