The Hindu : Karnataka / Bangalore News : Living life on their own terms

Online edition of India's National Newspaper
Wednesday, Nov 28, 2007
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Karnataka

Karnataka - Bangalore

Living life on their own terms

Sahana Charan

Despite all odds, they face the challenges and give back to society

All care: Parveen, who has a four-year-old daughter, has adopted a girl child.

Bangalore: Life’s lessons are not learnt easy. But sometimes, individuals rise above their own difficulties and take up new challenges…to teach others a lesson or two.

Coming from entirely different backgrounds but tied by a common thread — HIV/AIDS. And despite all odds, both have decided to live up to the challenge and give back to society.

For Chandrika and Parveen, both HIV positive, who contracted the dreaded disease from their husbands — living with the scourge has been anything but simple — they were discriminated against, had to run from pillar to post to fend for themselves and lived in poverty.

But both decided to do something that not many would think of — adopt a girl child and take good care of her, despite having their own wards.

Adoption

“People make religious offerings and donations so that their actions can bring them good fortune. But the greatest good one can do is to adopt an orphan child and shower your love on her. Care and shelter homes for destitute children provide basic needs but can’t they give them the love and belonging that a family can,” says Parveen, who is District Network Officer for the Sanjeevani Network of Positive People in Davangere.

Painful discovery

Parveen discovered that she was positive three years ago when her husband was very ill and had to be admitted to a government hospital.

“At the hospital, the staff refused to touch my husband and I would put his hands around my shoulders and take him for various tests up and down the stairs with my one-year-old in one arm.”

She has a four-year-old girl and has adopted an orphan abandoned by her mother, who is five.

Fortunately, both of them are not HIV positive.

“When I discovered I was positive I was broken but I was glad that my daughter was free from the scourge. Even though I have studied only till 10th standard I thought I should do something on my own and look after my child instead of surrendering myself to the disease,” says Parveen.

She did odd jobs such as selling textbooks before she came in contact with an NGO where she received training and information on HIV. “Now I counsel others on positive living despite HIV/AIDS and I feel good about that.”

Training

While Parveen was instrumental in setting up the network, Chandrika, who works with Milana in Bangalore, has been positive for 11 years and has trained as an Auxiliary Nurse Midwife and has provided care to many positive persons in care homes.

Her 11-year-old son is also positive and is on second line Anti-Retroviral Therapy (ART) and she is foster parent to a 12-year-old HIV positive girl who was abandoned by her family.

Self-reliant

“My son has been admitted to the hospital at least 10 times for various problems but his spirits are never dampened. He says he wants to study well, become self-reliant and do something for those suffering from HIV/AIDS,” says Chandrika.

Chandrika herself went into coma after she developed crytococcal meningitis in 2001 but managed to recover. Her ill health has not come in her way of spreading awareness about HIV/AIDS.

Instilling courage

Even her daughter has spoken on radio on the problem of stigma and discrimination against HIV-positive people and it is evident that Chandrika is proud of the children.

“My children are well aware of their condition. But I have taught both of them to be positive and take life as it comes.”

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